7 Tips on Surviving Part-time Motherhood

J, is a project engineer for an automation company who supplies for the automotive industry. He works long hours, and spends very little time at home, aside from the weekend that flies by so quick. J also has to travel for work to oversee installations of their projects, provide tech support, and so forth. The trips away from home varies in length. One trip can be six days, the next, a few weeks with weekends at home or a month coming home just one weekend. 

What I know of this life is glamourized by the veterans who have gone, or is going through the same situation. They put out a picture of the perfect husband who provides from never being home and a housewife dressed to the tee, baking, getting homework done, clean home and well-behaved children. 

Let me tell you though.. that shit is a lie! 

I’m confused, obviously. Conflicted between being a supportive partner who wants her guy to be happy and to achieve goals for himself, and needy partner who can’t handle motherhood alone.

It’s pretty overwhelming to have to manage everything at the home front 24/7 and have absolutely not a minute to breathe. No there isn’t family or friends to depend on. We moved 3.5 hrs away from all of that to chase the dream. It’s so hard to find the balance between being supportive and bitter because really, only one of you are working towards your goals. It’s a bit hard to do it at the same time, when you’ve got three children, two of them under two. 

I spent the last three days drained. The crying, the whining, the fighting, the never ending demands of little midgets who rule every bit of you. I mean, who’s the adult here? I’m pretty sure that’s just a title..and whatever power you think you have over three children is laughed off by their evil little minds that are so clever and manipulative. You win some, you lose some. 

But in all the chaos of part-time single parenting, here is what I learned..

1. Forget Routine and Expectations, seriously 

No, you cannot have plans and not break them. No you cannot think you’ll clean after dinner, and get it done. No you cannot expect a toddler to not get up on her high chair 20 million times, while she’s eating. No you cannot expect your 1 yr old to sit in her high chair for every meal time and have that go smoothly. No you cannot go out to grab a few things are the market, without someone having a temper tantrum or spilling something, or Pooping, or puking. There is no point to scheduling. 

2. Take-out, for food 

I swear the last time J was gone, we ate nothing but take-out.. our garbage and recycling literally filled with Chinese food boxes from chicken wings, Tupperware of noodles, and pizza boxes. That’s all we ate at every meal. You cannot cook a nice meal with two children, under two. Are you crazy? How do you even? I cooked maybe once – it was taco. 

3. Take-up drinking

For someone who stopped drinking after having her first child, I’ve become a light-weight. But I feel like if I take it up again, my tolerance will get better right away because the amount of drinking I should be doing for the amount of craziness it is to get through one day equals to about $24 — three bottles of “girls night out” pink juice with a hint of alcohol for the weak tolerance, people. 

So $24×5=$120/week, 15 bottles/week..yes I’m finally an alcoholic! Perks of motherhood 😆

4. SCREW CLEANING

Your house will never actually be clean, because who has time to do that while you’re dying from every other chore of being a lone parent? So screw it. I should start using the dishwasher. We’ve lived here a year and like every other Asian mom out there, my dishwasher is merely for drying dishes and storing large pots. Shame! 

5. Small trips

Party city, Wal-Mart and The Superstore has become our go-to place during the weeknights. I swear, these places either save me from wanting to strangle myself from the stress, or it’s heaven on days where I can find something for distraction. 

6. Video chat 

Thank God for technology. Having to ability to video chat, allows for the mixed emotions to still be shared on the table. Crying, screaming and face time, like he never left. 

7. Zero fuc*s

You are absolutely out of your mind if you thought you’d still live your normal, while the other adult is gone. Nope! Everything is chaotic. You don’t get to be a responsible adult, and get shit done. Nope! You get to be a sloppy, teenager, babysitting little siblings, who eats noodles, for two meal times and miss breakfast because you’d rather sleep some more. All rules, all schedules, everything is literally out of whack. So just live it! 
Honestly at the end of the day, you kept your kids, alive and together. They’re probably traumatized from all the demonic screaming you did all day, but the peaceful quietness that come after they close their eyes, is the perfect feeling of worth it for the sacrifices you make as individuals in an adult relationship. 

MM, out! 

Sunshine Blogger Award

I was nominated by Kayla from Adventures of a Young Mother!

I met Kayla in the blogging world. Her story of being a Young mother and taking on motherhood with poise is quite inspiring and if I may add has a super duper adorable little boy who just makes you squeal from his cute photos Kayla posts on Instagram. I am so happy to have met her, even online because she reminds me a lot of myself, becoming a mom at 21. Thank you, Kayla!

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WHAT’S SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD?

“It’s an award made for bloggers who are creative, positive, and always aim to be inspiring.“

Rules For Sunshine Blogger Award

• Thank the blogger who nominated them and link it back to their blog.
• Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated them.
• Nominate 11 other blogs and give them 11 new questions to answer.
• Notify your nominees and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post.

 

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 YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT BLOGGING? 

I have always loved writing since I was a child. It was my way to write down the experiences I had then and to be able to track my progress as I grew-up. A lot of why I wrote had to do with feeling unwanted and needing to prove myself -worth. As I go back to my entries in my diaries and now through my precious private blogs, I see better how I’ve grown and changed throughout the years. It helps better who I am.

I ALSO, got into blogging because I wanted the dirty details of motherhood to be up front and center for anyone online looking to relate their experience in motherhood and along with a sprinkle of my personal growth that can sometimes serve as a hilarious comic. I MEAN, half the shit that life throws at you is absolutely normal and with that said, it’s not necessarily something we should take with a smile. It’s not always pretty or easy and being able to share the raw aspect of what it means to experience life as a human being is one we all share as strangers just trying to live each day, one shitty story or one inspiring story at a time.

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WHAT DO YOU WANT READERS TO TAKE FROM YOUR BLOG? 

I WANT my readers to cry, I want them to get angry, I want them to feel scared, I want them to feel inspired and motivated and maybe shit them themselves from laughter (lol). I want my readers to take my posts as it is and share the emotions as they read on. TO FEEL captured by the truth of my life and to really FEEL what it makes them feel. Every story is only truly understood when you allow it to capture your heart.

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WHAT’S THE BEST BLOGGING ADVICE YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN? 

I have yet to get any advice on blogging, but what I have always believed in as a writer is, writing from your heart. To write when you feel inspired. To write for yourself before anyone else. The more honest you are, the more people can relate. The more you can, possibly, change love and inspire good in people.

 

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HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOU HAVE? HOW OLD ARE YOUR LO’S?

 

 

 

I have three children. APOLLO, a boy who’s eight. ARTEMIS, a girl who’s two. CASSIOPEIA, a girl who’s one. 

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WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST AS A MOTHER?

 

Having never met my mother or know anything about her, created a lot of chaos in me as a child. I made a vow to myself that if ever God wanted children in my lifetime, that I would do everything in my power to love that child(ren) with all of me. Being a mother in itself, makes me the happiest. Being a mother completes me, it makes me feel loved, the way I always yearned for. I love having my own family and being able to get that unconditional love from my children is the greatest blessing I have ever received from above. 

 

 

 

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WHAT IS THE BIGGEST STRUGGLE YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED AS A MOTHER? 

 

The biggest struggle I have as a mother right now is having Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety & OCD. The challenge in taking myself out of the depths of the symptoms that come with Postpartum Depression. It’s not always easy to get yourself up and out of bed to tackle the days requirements as a mother. It’s hard to deal with as a person, and even harder as a mother and everything in between that come with this illness. It’s a struggle all on it’s own. The internal struggles only I can fix and deal with. An illness that affects those that surround me on the daily.

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WHAT DO YOU DO FOR ME TIME? 

I’m honestly terrible at self-care. It’s hard for me to pin point what I do for “me-time” because honestly, between my husband gone all day (till dinner) or away for work travels, I don’t have “me-time”. I don’t do babysitters nor do I have family close by to help (we moved to another city a year ago). But bedtime is usually my “me-time” where I can shower and focus on my skin-care. I also take trips to Starbucks with the kids in tow throughout the day to enjoy a beverage I can share with my kids because yes, moms don’t get to eat or drink without sharing. 

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WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE?

I have a ton of favourites, from ‘Casablanca’ to, ‘My Best Friends Wedding’ to, ‘Run Away Bride’ and so on. But if I had to choose one to watch over and over again, my ultimate go-to is, ‘The Godfather’ series. I love everything from that movie. The way they love family, to the way their idea of justice works to the underlying, manipulative perspective of kindness. Haha, I’m a sucker for gangster movies.

 

 

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WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE DATE NIGHT? 

I love food! A date to a new restaurant or one of our favourite go-to restaurants is an awesome date night for me. Keep me full and fed, I would be the happiest person ever, until the next time I get to eat again. LOL

 

 

 

 

 

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WHAT DID YOU GET FOR MOTHER’S DAY? 

 

 

I honestly didn’t expect anything because I didn’t really say what I wanted, but I got spoiled! My son surprised me with a painting he made at school on a canvas and a card from scratch that included a poem 💘. My husband surprised me with a two necklaces. One, a heart engraved with my children’s initials, with a ‘mom’ attachment. The other, three intertwined hearts to represent my three children. 💝 I also got a mug that says, ‘Best Mom ❤ (ever)’ and a manicure & pedicure the day before, and some new kicks in my favourite colour (green). 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed getting to know more about me! 

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MY NOMINEES

1. Robin ➡️ The Mama Playbook
   
2. Tina ➡️ No, You Need To Calm Down 
3. Tifanny ➡️ Short Sweet Mom
4. Jasmine ➡️ Love, Life, Laugh, Motherhood
5. Elizabeth ➡️ Bettys Battleground
6. Delia ➡️ Punk To Pacifiers
7. Elizabeth ➡️ Worth Writing For 
8. Ant ➡️ Our Cookery
9. Archie ➡️ Presentfullmama
10. Caitlin ➡️ Rogers Party of 5
11. Sirri ➡️ Super Sirrious Mom 

 

All these amazing bloggers spew out creativity in all the awesome contents they share with others. Not only do they share their lives, but they support others through it. They inspire through their own stories, capturing everyone’s hearts one sentence at a time. The positive support they consistently promote within the community of bloggers and mothers is one that creates a world united by strength and powerful women. So congratulations to each and everyone who has been recognized for this award. Keep sharing the love!

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QUESTIONS FOR MY NOMINEES: 

1. If you could tell your past self something about motherhood, what would it be?
2. What are your two “mom guilt” you often think about?
3. If you could advocate for children, what would you advocate for?
4. What’s one bad habit you have as a mom?
5. If you could be in charge of your child(ren)’s future career, what would it be?
6. What is your recent mom fail?
7. What would you have been, or be if you weren’t a mom?
8. What’s one advice you’d like to share with a soon-to-be mom or new mom?
9. Who’s your hero?
10. What would you describe yourself as, as a mom?
11. What’s your biggest fear as a mom?

 

Mothering without a Mom

I had spent the last few days contemplating on writing about this. A topic I rarely find easy to share about. I didn’t want to time it where it was close to Mother’s Day and ruin it for anyone else.

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“I know this may not be the same story for everyone but it is something I struggle with every Mother’s Day.”

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As a child, I spent a lot of time with extended families who babysat me for my Dad. Aunts, friends, and neighbours. I spent much of my childhood having to move around and never really being in one place. I was raised by my aunt (my dad’s sister-in-law), from the age of three to nine. She did end up leaving to come to Canada when I was seven. Her oldest son who was left behind, his wife and their baby would end up taking over. It would be another two years before I would leave to Canada. I was nine years old.

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What I have learned from studying in the field of education with children is that, the first six years of a child’s life is the most critical for parents to invest the time in. It’s so important for their development, and what that time contributes to who they’re becoming.

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I remember as a child thinking my aunt was my mom. I fought for her attention, fought with my cousins that I was no different from them. I did things to gain her love. I wanted to be hers, and I wanted to be claimed, someones. When she left, I was devastated. Like a piece of my soul chipped at, for losing someone closest to a mom. I was so excited to see her again when I came to Canada, but her view of me would change. There would be a wall between us, that separated me from her. She had her own family, I wasn’t hers. I couldn’t have her. A few years down the line, that broken line would have her betray me. I trusted her, I thought she cared about me, and she would out me like a bad story. The part of me who loved her is now gone. It still makes me sad.

Don’t go chasing something that was never meant to be yours.

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I would later on try to build bonds with my dad’s women friends, the moms of my friends, and every other moms I would later on meet. The heartbreak it came with, was so overwhelming. To constantly fail at being someones. I tried so hard to be wanted. I just wanted what everyone had. I wanted that nurturing love, that love that’s there when your world is crumbling down, when your heart is hurting so bad, that love that comes so unconditionally because, YOU ARE HERS.

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All my failures at finding HER in others, eventually made me feel numb. I stopped looking. I stopped wanting that. I stopped caring. It would eventually sit in the back burner where a ton of my experiences have been sitting and burning away.

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JUST LET GO…

Here I am, a mother of three. The most wonderful accomplishment in my life. The chance I never got to have for me, but now I’m giving to my three beautiful children. Every mother’s day, my heart hurts. It hurts for what I can’t fully celebrate. A day I don’t really care for. But also a day that brings me so much pride. I am a Mother!

Apollo

Artemis

Cassiopeia

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Ryan Jon’s Mother’s Day Message

Wherever you are…

“Time has passed. I’ve mourn your loss. I wonder at times, if you’re okay. If you’re still alive. If you ever thought of me. The most painful thing for me is being angry with you. It affects me at any given moment. I wonder how it would have been if you were here. Do I have siblings? I would love that. Did you ever come looking for me? Did I mean much to you, even after you left? If you could have the chance to see me now, would you? Why did you give me away? Why didn’t you fight for me? Why wasn’t I enough? Does your heart hurt the way mine does, because we share one. If you could see me now, would you be proud? You’re a grandmother to three beautiful babies. I am everything, you never was. Sure you struggled. Sure you were alone. Why did he leave you? Does he even know about me? I don’t know anything about this part of me. I wish you had left me with something. I wish you had fought harder. I wish that the time I lost, is a struggle you battle each and every day. I am broken, I am hurt. I needed you. I wanted you. I just needed you to look back. This is something I will forever carry in my heart. As time lapse, I hope for one thing only, to let go of you and stop the heartbreak.
— Happy Mother’s Day, from the daughter you never had.–“

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HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL OF YOU!

To all the moms out there who grind each and every day for their little loved ones, to the ones who have lost theirs, to the ones who are trying to have just one, to the ones who had no choice but to give theirs up, to ones doing it all alone, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU. You are most loved, no matter what!

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Apollo, Artemis & Cassiopeia

“I’m not always the mom you want me to be. But I will always be the mom, you need. I won’t always do things right, I won’t always give you everything you want. But I will always be here by your side, to hold your hand through anything and everything. I will always love you from the depths of my soul. For all the moments you feel defeated, know I am always cheering you on. I will always help you get up again. I will do things you won’t always understand, but know that in everything I do..I do it because I love you. I hope nothing but for you guys to grow up to be kind people. To love one another through everything and be there for each other, always. I pray for you that your life be full and blessed. I pray that your heart achieves all the things you want in this world. Even when time has gone, remember always that Mom loves you forever.”

♥

MM, out!

May: Mental Health Awareness Month

May is an observed month for Mental Health Awareness in the United States since 1949. 

 

Though I am not a citizen of America, I share the experience of Mental Illness with the whole world. And sharing my experience is an important point I’d like to advocate for on my blog. 

• Mental Health Awareness week is May 1st – May 7th in Canada.
• The statistics in Canada for women who reported going through postpartum depression is 7.5%.

 

 

 

 

If you are not a follower of my blog, I want you to know that I suffer from Postpartum Depression & Anxiety, OCD that I recently just discovered. The statistics in Canada for women who reported going through postpartum depression is 7.5%. That’s not a huge number in terms of reports of women having it. I say this because, it is not an illness that women/men openly talk about, but this is a very common and unexpected illness that most new parents and parents in general experience in first few years.

Having shared my initial experience of finding out I have it, was a struggle on its own but the outpouring support from the community of bloggers have mostly mentioned how this is not a common topic talked enough about. There isn’t much light being brought to raise awareness of this illness. Just like anyone would be concerned about cancer, this too is an illness that cannot be controlled and should gain the concern it requires.

 

Its an illness that that hides inside of the person and finds itself free to attack the person at any unexpected moment. 

 

What makes it even worse is the fact that it’s a mental health illness. Just say mental health in your head again, and what comes to mind? A person with an unstable mind? A person who is capable of bad things because they’re not all there, up there? A person who cannot perform their usual duties as a citizen or an individual because their brain cannot function like a ‘normal person’? That’s the stigma talking. That’s also the stigma stuck in my head when I first thought about what it would be like to share this with others.

FEAR!

Individuals who experience some sort of Mental Illness, struggle internally to share in words that would allow the receiver to understand.  The truth is, most individuals who experience mental illness cannot always find the words to say without sounding like they are ‘crazy’. Your mind plays tricks on you. You’re not really sure why you’re thinking, what you’re thinking–why you’re irrational, emotional and absolutely out of character.  Well it’s a chemical imbalance. Your emotions are all out of whack, even though the issue is with your brain that’s mostly, usually realistic, rational, and stern; with mental illness, none of that is how it’s supposed to be.

 

Mental illness is not something anyone just fixes for the person suffering. It is not an illness that the individual can just brush off and everything returns to ‘normal’.
It is an illness that cannot be helped (I repeat this because for those who don’t know this is a common misconception). 

There are a lot of people who choose to be ignorant about mental illness. Those people who have never experienced it with someone they love or for themselves.  People who don’t care enough about the importance of why this illness matters enough to be talked about. Sure back then (40’s, 50’s, maybe early 60’s) this isn’t a thing to be sharing with the world. It means you got sent to an institution because they didn’t have a solution for this. And what they did have for it was more pain. 

“Well, here’s the thing..you have to really think outside of your ass in order to really understand this. You’re not going to find it in there. This is just as important to understand as anything else that threatens the value of life.”

 

Mental illness doesn’t just affect the person who has it but also those dearest to their heart. It affects families. The challenges of this illness takes a tole on each individual members of a family. The tole of this illness is the very thing that makes the feeling of guilt ever so present in motherhood.

HAVING CHILDREN IS NOT THE MAIN CAUSE OF THIS ILLNESS! 

There are several factors to why an individual finds themselves with this illness. The majority of women I have been able to connect with who suffer from this illness has openly shared the traces of their sickness reaching back to before they even had children. Having children is one of the factors that contributes at a later time in life, but it is an illness that roots from past experiences. Yes it can be from the sudden change of life experiences, in motherhood but for the most part this illness is traced from what’s already happened that the individual has fought to shove in a box, in the back of their minds. It can be hereditary. Something you didn’t know runs in your family bloodline. For someone who’s not aware of her roots, this is something I cannot trace back to roots. One thing I am certain of though is that, I’ve a lot of pent up anger that roots from my childhood that I kept in an box inside, far back that has now found its way creeping in on top of all the other stressor accompanying motherhood. 

If you know anyone who appears to be having a hard time emotionally, please offer to listen. Don’t judge or start diagnosing someone of what YOU THINK the problem is, but rather provide resources of different types of help they can seek professionally that may more helpful. 
There are a ton of people, communities who advocate for the awareness of this illness and mental illness in general. Please educate yourself if you’re uncertain of what mental illness is and how it affects a person. Don’t be ignorant. Don’t be judgemental because I can guarantee you, this is not my choice! No one wants to suffer emotionally and psychologically.

 

 

MM

My Open Letter to Apollo

My Sweet Baby Boy,

I have been trying to find the words to tell you how sorry I am. Sorry for this season of your life that feels so sad, cloudy and unfair. Sorry that you have to shield your emotions from me, so that it wouldn’t contribute to more thoughts that linger in my head and overwhelms me with guilt. Sorry that you feel powerless through my illness. Sorry that you’re the sponge for my ever changing moods.

In the midst of all of this, I want you to know that while in these moments it feels otherwise, I LOVE YOU. I love you always, no matter how it seems. I want you to know that when it feels like im distant, my heart knows nothing than to love you from afar. I want you to know that in the midst of the chaos that effects you the most, I will always find you and save you, the best I can even if you don’t see it or notice it. I want you to know that in the moments when you tell me your heartaches, I am fighting with you through them. I am fighting for you! I am! I want you to know that it won’t be like this, forever. I want you to know that for every inch you drift, I am holding on with all my might! I want you to know that for every hard breath I take in the moments I feel so lost, that you are my reason. I want you to know that you give me strength. I want you to know that you are what saves me! Time and time again, you save me!

Though it feels less than it should, I love you so much! Always & Forever. I will always be here for you, no matter the season, reason, instances, or moments.

Love, Mom.
MM, out!

4 tips on Keeping your Significant other in The Loop

As a SAHM who has a very busy husband-to-be that spends more than 10 hrs away per day, it can sometimes be stressful to keep each other in the loop of what’s happening with our three kids, and each other. I dont mean if someone sneezed should he know or if someone pooped 3x in 2 hrs. 

Keeping each other updated on doctor appointments, events at school for our school-aged son, my doctor appointments, the hubbys travel for work schedule, visitors, extended family events, dental appointmentd, check-ups for the girls, organized sports, and everything in between.

This is what works for us

WhatsApp 

On the daily, I would usually video call him twice. Once in the morning for the girls to say hello (because they miss him and still don’t understant what ‘he’s at work’ means), and for me to mention whether or not the our son has gone to school. In this time I updated him on anything for that day that will be happening. It could be doctor appointments for check-ups for any of us or an event at school for the oldest. 
I video call him again in the afternoon to update on how appointments went, any important results that require immediate knowledge and for him to have a chat with the oldest about school and other stuff. 

We rely on whatsapp to call, text, or video call (which is btw a new feature). He works in the united states, and we live in Canada. He travels to and from daily over the border to work. While he does have an American cellphone..I don’t. So the cost to call him would be crazy. We don’t need a long distance plan because its not worth it for us. There are tons of apps that one can use with wifi or using your mobile data service. He still has a canadian phone obviously for being home during vacation, evenings and weekends. 

Google Calendar (shared)

My hubby to be is not really a paper and pen type of guy for reminders, and with the way the the digital and technology world is booming, he loves good calendar. We share the google account, which is a personal one where we update on the regular as the schedules pop-up. There we’ll update dates and times for appointments we have for the kids, ourselves, and extended family events. He also includes important work schedules I need to be aware of. Because, he travels for work at times, it’s important for us to be aware of the time he’ll be gone and what important, scheduled appointments he may miss. This way we’re able to create a plan accordingly. 

Loose Paper Reminders

There are always loose papers on the kitchen island for him to look at when he gets home. It could be lose papers from school that our son brought home, sports he’d like to join, or events where I know his attendance is required. At times there also love notes, and pictures the kids have made for him to guess or scribbles for him to read. Guess which types of loose papers we enjoy keeping? 

Verbal Communication 

While there are a ton of apps that can help with keeping each other on lock with our family appointments, the old verbal communication is still key (where you’re only limited to 50 characters), in keeping each other on top of things 😉. This allows us to take the time to communicate to each other the extended details of appointments scheduled in our calendar. Its always better and recommended. 

Life with kids can get super chaotic, and keeping each other leveled with important information stored in an accessible organizer is how we’re able to keep our shit together as parents and partners.

How do you keep your partner in the loop?

MM, out! 

My top 3 Transitional Toys (from Babies to Early School-age)

There are those toys as moms that we keep during every spring cleaning fest we have. Toys we just can’t get rid of because our different aged children ranging from babies to early school-age (7 yo) still continue to play with.

My top 3 transitional toys:

Blocks

I have had these blocks, since Apollo was a toddler. I have kept them, year after year, and he continues to play with them even know at eight. We ended up adding to the set, for Artemis. She got a few sets as gifts on her first birthday, and her first Christmas. There is a bin (old art bin) full of blocks, and  an original bag that Apollo’s blocks came in. All I do is wash it once a month, with part water, and a few tablespoon of bleach. I wash it with warm water and soap first, and sanitize it with the water and bleach mix. I let it dry overnight, and make sure that there are no water left in the slots. Blocks are so versatile, that they can be utilized in different aspects of learning. 

Blocks can be used for sorting, counting, and colours, which encourages learning math. Blocks can also be incorporated with our toys like, toy soldiers who used them as structures to jump from, seats for dolls, tables for miniature toys, etc..

Blocks are great at any age! 

Pretend Toys – Food & Kitchen Utensils

Pretend play is a very big part of play in children. Children love to pretend-play with all sorts of toys, but one common toy that is used for every kind of pretend-play from baker and chef, to mommy and daddy picnics, to imitation of feeding babies are, food toys and kitchen utensils. It doesn’t get old. It continues to be played with, on a regular. Sometimes the kids even go through my drawers to use actual utensils, cups, plastic plates they use for eating. Food toys also contribute to school-age children in teaching them the types of food and what food family they belong in. I know having a picky eater, helps me in connecting the food he eats, with the toys he’s seen. Most of the time, after the food is cooked, and the kids weren’t part of the process, they wonder why the outcome looks so weird. Well utilizing the food toys as tangible examples (especially the ones that cut in half with pretend knives) makes it a little bit comforting for them. 

It’s definitely an awesome keep! 

Balls

We all know balls are universal. Anyone and everyone can keep them as long as they haven’t deflated. The collection of balls we have from the time Apollo could learn to just hold them, has tripled if not, more. From tennis balls, to soccer balls, to basketballs, to volleyballs, to balls that collect water for summer, to light-weight balls co-used with other toys, playing with balls are just great fun (back it up, you know what I meant), anytime.

Artemis is now into kicking it around, and she gets all these ideas and sees all these moves from her older brother, so having balls around are so perfect for gross-motor skills and active play. Artemis is learning to push the ball to Cassiopeia, where Cassiopeia then learns to stop it and picks it up or even chases it. These are all part of learning. From baby to school-age, balls provide learning for every step in their milestones. 

Children are able to utilize their motor skills according to the size of the ball, the weight of the ball, and eventually categorize the type of ball that it is. Promoting learning through physical activity. 

So, yes, I keep them as long as they’re in good condition.

There are a ton of other toys my kids love, and I’m sure your kids as well. The most important thing is keeping the ones that can grow with them and utilizing them regulary by incorporating them with other toys, and different types of play. 

 

What are some of the toys you keep on every big cleaning session, you do?

 

MM, out!

 

 

 

 

Whats the struggle

Someone had posted to find out what’s the one thing they struggle with, either as a parent, or with oneself. 

Here’s one of my struggles:

I HAVE A HARD TIME ADMITTING, I NEED HELP.

 

I have a hard time with admitting I need help with anything. I could be struggling so hard, but instead of me asking for help, I wait until I’ve given all my strengths and eventually losing my shit.

I have always been this way. That means, it carries through with my kids, as their mom. Because I fear being judged, and looking incapable, I refuse to take that route right from the get-go.

As a child, I had to do a lot of things alone. I had to help myself. Figure things out on my own. This in turn, leads you through life thinking nobody will help you. That everyone is claimed and everyone is already called for. I on the other hand, being adopted and having to fend for myself had to figure a lot on my own. Go through life thinking if I wanted something, I had to get it. If I needed anything, I had to do it for myself.

The truth is, 

In this exact moment, I realize how wrong I am. How much moments would have been spared from my craziness, if I had just ASKED FOR HELP.

There will always be people who judge you. There will always be people who cannot be bothered to help you. But there are good people. There are strangers, there are people you know, who care, and are willing to help you.

The key?

ASK!

 

MM, out!

Every Piece of You

There is without a doubt that motherhood takes a tole on everything that is you!
From your health, to your physical standing, to your emotional state, to your eating habits, to your washroom routine, to your sleeping routine, to everything else in between.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had carpal tunnel from the repetitive work of motherhood.

I don’t know how many times, I’ve missed meals from making sure my kids are fed, and whatever I have decided to eat instead..made it into their tummies and I’m not even mad about it. Sometimes, I sneak it into the bathroom by the kitchen because I don’t have a walk-in pantry that I can lock and my bathroom in my room, doesn’t lock..just so i can take a quick min to eat something. When i say quick, i mean quick before they noticed you’re gone. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten sick from the germs they bring home, only to not get any rest time because, that’s not what motherhood is about (Am I right, or am I right moms)!

I don’t know how many times, I’ve had to sort of “forget” my emotions, or at least I think I’m forgetting it, only to seep in on times I’d rather not have it. AND I LOSE IT, every single time! 

I don’t ever take my washroom breaks seriously, because I always have a full audience, mischievously going through my monthly stacked of pads, make-up, and other things I store in a washroom/bathroom.

Don’t even get me started on sleeping. What is that? Who does this? 

Amidst all this that seem so hard to sacrifice on days when I literally wish I can just be alone for the rest of my life, my precious children who drive me nuts on the daily, are everything I can ever ask for in life. The blessing, to be their mother, their friend, their provider, their protector, the teacher of love, understanding, care, and everything we moms are responsible for on the daily, is everything I could ever want out of my life.

I am always grateful, and thankful for being able to be a mom and have the opportunity to have my own little mini-me’s to live life and to be my legacies, if nothing more.

 

MM

 

Hello, shock !

It’s been 12 days since I wrote. 12 days since I tried to sit and write. 12 days since I’ve felt motivated to write a post or even think of anything inspiring to share. I don’t know if I have any of that for you today, I’m running kinda low on me. But this is what I got, hear me out.

J and I have always worked hard to achieve our goals in our life together. To be able to take care of our family and keep everyone safe, happy and healthy. But as you know, achieving these things isn’t easy nor does it come without sacrifice. 

J has been working hard and long the last couple of weeks.  It’s been quite a challenging one for the two of us and especially on the kids. They rarely see their dad during the day.  But with most parents who work, this is the reality. Last night after work, J went to a concert with a few of his buddies from work.  Which he deserves. Well this meant, I was alone all day with the kids. He didn’t get home until around 11 p.m. and he was out of the house before the sun even came up. Yesterday was very challenging with Apollo and it proved to me how much I feel like a failure 88% of the time, being his mother.

Apollo had managed to get under my skin, push all the buttons that trigger ‘crazy mom’ and absolutely lose all senses to him that notify him mommy is about to turn hulk. I lost the battle all day and at the end of the night, I just cried. 

It was the girls crying, needing all day, on top of necessary duties around the house. It was feed the kids, change their diapers, wash their hands, give them snack, play with them, talk to them, password for the iPad, change the show, sing to me, carry me, and the day seemed endless. Then you top those requests with 2 second intervals of Apollo’s needs, right now, right here. I lost to yesterday. And I’m still paying for it today. 

I am super exhausted. I’m tired. I cannot adult today nor mother today. So I’m missing steps, forgetting my knows, and I’ve lost more than half of my brain today. 

I realize that in all this, that I can’t do it all. I can’t handle it all. There isn’t enough of me. Today is sad. Today is tired.  Today is a write-off. But there are more days to come, I hope they’re better. 

I have to prepare myself to have more days like yesterday, because sometime soon, J will be deployed for work. This means, I’ll have to do this alone. My way. My rules. Just me. 

I miss J, already. 

from a tired me, 

xo, MM.