Sunshine Blogger Award

I was nominated by Kayla from Adventures of a Young Mother!

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I met Kayla in the blogging world. Her story of being a Young mother and taking on motherhood with poise is quite inspiring and if I may add has a super duper adorable little boy who just makes you squeal from his cute photos Kayla posts on Instagram. I am so happy to have met her, even online because she reminds me a lot of myself, becoming a mom at 21. Thank you, Kayla!


WHAT’S SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD?

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“It’s an award made for bloggers who are creative, positive, and always aim to be inspiring.

Rules For Sunshine Blogger Award

  • Thank the blogger who nominated them and link it back to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated them.
  • Nominate 11 other blogs and give them 11 new questions to answer.
  • Notify your nominees and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post.

 


 YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT BLOGGING? 

I have always loved writing since I was a child. It was my way to write down the experiences I had then and to be able to track my progress as I grew-up. A lot of why I wrote had to do with feeling unwanted and needing to prove myself -worth. As I go back to my entries in my diaries and now through my precious private blogs, I see better how I’ve grown and changed throughout the years. It helps better who I am.

I ALSO, got into blogging because I wanted the dirty details of motherhood to be up front and center for anyone online looking to relate their experience in motherhood and along with a sprinkle of my personal growth that can sometimes serve as a hilarious comic. I MEAN, half the shit that life throws at you is absolutely normal and with that said, it’s not necessarily something we should take with a smile. It’s not always pretty or easy and being able to share the raw aspect of what it means to experience life as a human being is one we all share as strangers just trying to live each day, one shitty story or one inspiring story at a time.


 

WHAT DO YOU WANT READERS TO TAKE FROM YOUR BLOG? 

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I WANT my readers to cry, I want them to get angry, I want them to feel scared, I want them to feel inspired and motivated and maybe shit them themselves from laughter (lol). I want my readers to take my posts as it is and share the emotions as they read on. TO FEEL captured by the truth of my life and to really FEEL what it makes them feel. Every story is only truly understood when you allow it to capture your heart.


WHAT’S THE BEST BLOGGING ADVICE YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN? 

I have yet to get any advice on blogging, but what I have always believed in as a writer is, writing from your heart. To write when you feel inspired. To write for yourself before anyone else. The more honest you are, the more people can relate. The more you can, possibly, change love and inspire good in people.

 


 

HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOU HAVE? HOW OLD ARE YOUR LO’S?

 

 

 

I have three children. APOLLO, a boy who’s eight. ARTEMIS, a girl who’s two. CASSIOPEIA, a girl who’s one. 


 

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST AS A MOTHER?

 

Having never met my mother or know anything about her, created a lot of chaos in me as a child. I made a vow to myself that if ever God wanted children in my lifetime, that I would do everything in my power to love that child(ren) with all of me. Being a mother in itself, makes me the happiest. Being a mother completes me, it makes me feel loved, the way I always yearned for. I love having my own family and being able to get that unconditional love from my children is the greatest blessing I have ever received from above. 

 

 

 


WHAT IS THE BIGGEST STRUGGLE YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED AS A MOTHER? 

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The biggest struggle I have as a mother right now is having Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety & OCD. The challenge in taking myself out of the depths of the symptoms that come with Postpartum Depression. It’s not always easy to get yourself up and out of bed to tackle the days requirements as a mother. It’s hard to deal with as a person, and even harder as a mother and everything in between that come with this illness. It’s a struggle all on it’s own. The internal struggles only I can fix and deal with. An illness that affects those that surround me on the daily.


 

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR ME TIME? 

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I’m honestly terrible at self-care. It’s hard for me to pin point what I do for “me-time” because honestly, between my husband gone all day (till dinner) or away for work travels, I don’t have “me-time”. I don’t do babysitters nor do I have family close by to help (we moved to another city a year ago). But bedtime is usually my “me-time” where I can shower and focus on my skin-care. I also take trips to Starbucks with the kids in tow throughout the day to enjoy a beverage I can share with my kids because yes, moms don’t get to eat or drink without sharing. 


WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE?


I have a ton of favourites, from ‘Casablanca’ to, ‘My Best Friends Wedding’ to, ‘Run Away Bride’ and so on. But if I had to choose one to watch over and over again, my ultimate go-to is, ‘The Godfather’ series. I love everything from that movie. The way they love family, to the way their idea of justice works to the underlying, manipulative perspective of kindness. Haha, I’m a sucker for gangster movies.

 

 


WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE DATE NIGHT? 

I love food! A date to a new restaurant or one of our favourite go-to restaurants is an awesome date night for me. Keep me full and fed, I would be the happiest person ever, until the next time I get to eat again. LOL

 

 

 

 

 


 

WHAT DID YOU GET FOR MOTHER’S DAY? 

 

 

I honestly didn’t expect anything because I didn’t really say what I wanted, but I got spoiled! My son surprised me with a painting he made at school on a canvas and a card from scratch that included a poem 💘. My husband surprised me with a two necklaces. One, a heart engraved with my children’s initials, with a ‘mom’ attachment. The other, three intertwined hearts to represent my three children. 💝 I also got a mug that says, ‘Best Mom ❤ (ever)’ and a manicure & pedicure the day before, and some new kicks in my favourite colour (green). 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed getting to know more about me! 


MY NOMINEES

  1. Robin ➡️ The Mama Playbook
  2. Tina ➡️ No, You Need To Calm Down 
  3. Tifanny ➡️ Short Sweet Mom
  4. Jasmine ➡️ Love, Life, Laugh, Motherhood
  5. Elizabeth ➡️ Bettys Battleground
  6. Delia ➡️ Punk To Pacifiers
  7. Elizabeth ➡️ Worth Writing For 
  8. Ant ➡️ Our Cookery
  9. Archie ➡️ Presentfullmama
  10. Caitlin ➡️ Rogers Party of 5
  11. Sirri ➡️ Super Sirrious Mom 

 

All these amazing bloggers spew out creativity in all the awesome contents they share with others. Not only do they share their lives, but they support others through it. They inspire through their own stories, capturing everyone’s hearts one sentence at a time. The positive support they consistently promote within the community of bloggers and mothers is one that creates a world united by strength and powerful women. So congratulations to each and everyone who has been recognized for this award. Keep sharing the love!


QUESTIONS FOR MY NOMINEES: 

  1. If you could tell your past self something about motherhood, what would it be?
  2. What are your two “mom guilt” you often think about?
  3. If you could advocate for children, what would you advocate for?
  4. What’s one bad habit you have as a mom?
  5. If you could be in charge of your child(ren)’s future career, what would it be?
  6. What is your recent mom fail?
  7. What would you have been, or be if you weren’t a mom?
  8. What’s one advice you’d like to share with a soon-to-be mom or new mom?
  9. Who’s your hero?
  10. What would you describe yourself as, as a mom?
  11. What’s your biggest fear as a mom?

 

Update on My Postpartum Depression, Postpartum Anxiety & OCD (A month after)

 

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It’s been a little bit over a month, since I seen the doctor for the initial diagnosis of my postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety & OCD. I had met with him again just last Tuesday to see how the medication he’s prescribed is working for me. I had to refill that prescription for the second time, before seeing him again, since the month after visit went a bit over a month to get an appointment with him.


Here’s my update

  • I still get a lot of down days
  • I still get overwhelmed easily
  • My anger is still uncontrollable
  • My head still feels foggy
  • I still have a hard time focusing
  • I have a hard time remembering things
  • I still can’t sleep at night
  • My eating habbits are still outta whack (lost 10 lbs)
  • Days when I feel super down, It’s really hard to snap out of it
  • I feel unmotivated 50% of the time

But…

  • I don’t cry as often
  • I push myself harder to get out of bed, and actually get out of bed
  • I’m learning to control being angry all the time
  • I’m able to leave the house and run errands more than before
  • I’m okay with seeing people again – just not for long periods of time
  • I’ve learned to slow down on doing things and not finding it a burden to have to do it there and then
  • I’m taking breaks
  • I’m noticing better, when I’m burnt out
  • My relationship with my son, is slowly getting better 

 

The doctor has increased the dosage of the same medication he previously prescribed and advised me that in a month, if it still appears to not be working then he’ll either raise the dosage again, or change the medication.


 

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Here’s thing about going through postpartum depression of any levels, it doesn’t matter what medication you take it will not get rid of it but just help you deal with it “better”. The professionals on this topic also advises to take some type of counselling. Whats happened in your past, is most likely a contributor to this sickness. All the pent-up emotions you did so well to hide, is what’s actually creeping out and attacking you. So talking to a professional counselor helps you determine part of the root of the problems that linger, that you’re not dealing with, but it doesn’t get rid of postpartum depression, or any other level of ppd. It takes time, it requires work, it requires motivation to get better, it requires for you, the individual itself to want to get better. It’s a journey. It’s a battle. It’s an experience, but you don’t have to become it. You can choose everything after it.


Thank you for following my journey with Postpartum Depression/Anxiety & OCD. Your support has been wonderful. I am here for you, just as you are for me. Remember that it’s better to go through this with someone, than alone.

If you know anyone who appears to be going through something that sounds like postpartum depression, please listen. Please do not judge. Please be kind. If you need help, ask. If you don’t know what’s wrong, see your physician.

MM, out!

May: Mental Health Awareness Month 

May is an observed month for Mental Health Awareness in the United States since 1949. 

 

Though I am not a citizen of America, I share the experience of Mental Illness with the whole world. And sharing my experience is an important point I’d like to advocate for on my blog. 

 

 

 

 

If you are not a follower of my blog, I want you to know that I suffer from Postpartum Depression & Anxiety, OCD that I recently just discovered. The statistics in Canada for women who reported going through postpartum depression is 7.5%. That’s not a huge number in terms of reports of women having it. I say this because, it is not an illness that women/men openly talk about, but this is a very common and unexpected illness that most new parents and parents in general experience in first few years.

Having shared my initial experience of finding out I have it, was a struggle on its own but the outpouring support from the community of bloggers have mostly mentioned how this is not a common topic talked enough about. There isn’t much light being brought to raise awareness of this illness. Just like anyone would be concerned about cancer, this too is an illness that cannot be controlled and should gain the concern it requires.

 

Its an illness that that hides inside of the person and finds itself free to attack the person at any unexpected moment. 

 

What makes it even worse is the fact that it’s a mental health illness. Just say mental health in your head again, and what comes to mind? A person with an unstable mind? A person who is capable of bad things because they’re not all there, up there? A person who cannot perform their usual duties as a citizen or an individual because their brain cannot function like a ‘normal person’? That’s the stigma talking. That’s also the stigma stuck in my head when I first thought about what it would be like to share this with others.


FEAR!

Individuals who experience some sort of Mental Illness, struggle internally to share in words that would allow the receiver to understand.  The truth is, most individuals who experience mental illness cannot always find the words to say without sounding like they are ‘crazy’. Your mind plays tricks on you. You’re not really sure why you’re thinking, what you’re thinking–why you’re irrational, emotional and absolutely out of character.  Well it’s a chemical imbalance. Your emotions are all out of whack, even though the issue is with your brain that’s mostly, usually realistic, rational, and stern; with mental illness, none of that is how it’s supposed to be.

 

Mental illness is not something anyone just fixes for the person suffering. It is not an illness that the individual can just brush off and everything returns to ‘normal’.
It is an illness that cannot be helped (I repeat this because for those who don’t know this is a common misconception). 


There are a lot of people who choose to be ignorant about mental illness. Those people who have never experienced it with someone they love or for themselves.  People who don’t care enough about the importance of why this illness matters enough to be talked about. Sure back then (40’s, 50’s, maybe early 60’s) this isn’t a thing to be sharing with the world. It means you got sent to an institution because they didn’t have a solution for this. And what they did have for it was more pain. 


“Well, here’s the thing..you have to really think outside of your ass in order to really understand this. You’re not going to find it in there. This is just as important to understand as anything else that threatens the value of life.”

 

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Mental illness doesn’t just affect the person who has it but also those dearest to their heart. It affects families. The challenges of this illness takes a tole on each individual members of a family. The tole of this illness is the very thing that makes the feeling of guilt ever so present in motherhood.



HAVING CHILDREN IS NOT THE MAIN CAUSE OF THIS ILLNESS! 

There are several factors to why an individual finds themselves with this illness. The majority of women I have been able to connect with who suffer from this illness has openly shared the traces of their sickness reaching back to before they even had children. Having children is one of the factors that contributes at a later time in life, but it is an illness that roots from past experiences. Yes it can be from the sudden change of life experiences, in motherhood but for the most part this illness is traced from what’s already happened that the individual has fought to shove in a box, in the back of their minds. It can be hereditary. Something you didn’t know runs in your family bloodline. For someone who’s not aware of her roots, this is something I cannot trace back to roots. One thing I am certain of though is that, I’ve a lot of pent up anger that roots from my childhood that I kept in an box inside, far back that has now found its way creeping in on top of all the other stressor accompanying motherhood. 


If you know anyone who appears to be having a hard time emotionally, please offer to listen. Don’t judge or start diagnosing someone of what YOU THINK the problem is, but rather provide resources of different types of help they can seek professionally that may more helpful. 
There are a ton of people, communities who advocate for the awareness of this illness and mental illness in general. Please educate yourself if you’re uncertain of what mental illness is and how it affects a person. Don’t be ignorant. Don’t be judgemental because I can guarantee you, this is not my choice! No one wants to suffer emotionally and psychologically.

 

 

MM

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