Making Goals as SAHM : May

I made a post last month about making goals as a stay-at-home-mom for April. How this was an important component to keeping sane, and having goals that are achievable and to promotion of self-care in motherhood. 

I have an update on my April goals, and what I would like to do in May. It seems like April came and dipped. I swear the days are going so much faster now that I’m an adult and have children, compare to when I was a child and had no care in the world about #goals.

My Birthday  – May 2016

MAY 2017

• Work out 4x/week —> Work out 2x/week
  I realize how much harder it is to find the motivation to work-out when you’re dealing with Postpartum Depression.
• Write in my journal daily with affirmations, negatives to positives, memories, moments —> push yourself to write, even when it’s not much or specific.
• Continue to say one good thing about each family member
  ..to remind them why you love them, why they are awesome, why they are important..
• Give myself an hour each day – to write in peace —> Give myself 30 mins each day
  I don’t always want to write. I don’t always feel like doing anything. But at least, this 30 minutes is open to anything.
• Eat healthier meals and try not to skip meals
  This has been very hard. Since there are days when I can’t find it in me to cook. A symptom of Postpartum Depression is, Lost Appetite.
• SMOKE LESS
• Take a break daily
• Complete any wedding stuff on weekends
  I have done nothing else about my upcoming wedding. Next on the list is to retrieve our marriage license. 
• Start going on walks – a.m.  (with kids) and p.m. (by yourself)
• Spend time with each child – separately (again)
• Encourage yourself to be more active by engaging in outdoor activities with the kids
• CELEBRATE YOU each day this month
  This month is my birthday month, I hope to do something I love each day –even if it’s something small.

I will complete as many of these goals throughout the month of May, and whatever I don’t complete I will continue to add to the next month’s goal.

Thank you for following my journey on achieving goals. I hope you take from this, and encourage yourself to continue to work on yourself and love yourself!

Please share with me any goals you’ve achieved that are easy and to the point. Maybe I can try it as well!

MM, out!

My Open Letter to Apollo

My Sweet Baby Boy,

I have been trying to find the words to tell you how sorry I am. Sorry for this season of your life that feels so sad, cloudy and unfair. Sorry that you have to shield your emotions from me, so that it wouldn’t contribute to more thoughts that linger in my head and overwhelms me with guilt. Sorry that you feel powerless through my illness. Sorry that you’re the sponge for my ever changing moods.

In the midst of all of this, I want you to know that while in these moments it feels otherwise, I LOVE YOU. I love you always, no matter how it seems. I want you to know that when it feels like im distant, my heart knows nothing than to love you from afar. I want you to know that in the midst of the chaos that effects you the most, I will always find you and save you, the best I can even if you don’t see it or notice it. I want you to know that in the moments when you tell me your heartaches, I am fighting with you through them. I am fighting for you! I am! I want you to know that it won’t be like this, forever. I want you to know that for every inch you drift, I am holding on with all my might! I want you to know that for every hard breath I take in the moments I feel so lost, that you are my reason. I want you to know that you give me strength. I want you to know that you are what saves me! Time and time again, you save me!

Though it feels less than it should, I love you so much! Always & Forever. I will always be here for you, no matter the season, reason, instances, or moments.

Love, Mom.
MM, out!

4 tips on Keeping your Significant other in The Loop

As a SAHM who has a very busy husband-to-be that spends more than 10 hrs away per day, it can sometimes be stressful to keep each other in the loop of what’s happening with our three kids, and each other. I dont mean if someone sneezed should he know or if someone pooped 3x in 2 hrs. 

Keeping each other updated on doctor appointments, events at school for our school-aged son, my doctor appointments, the hubbys travel for work schedule, visitors, extended family events, dental appointmentd, check-ups for the girls, organized sports, and everything in between.

This is what works for us

WhatsApp 

On the daily, I would usually video call him twice. Once in the morning for the girls to say hello (because they miss him and still don’t understant what ‘he’s at work’ means), and for me to mention whether or not the our son has gone to school. In this time I updated him on anything for that day that will be happening. It could be doctor appointments for check-ups for any of us or an event at school for the oldest. 
I video call him again in the afternoon to update on how appointments went, any important results that require immediate knowledge and for him to have a chat with the oldest about school and other stuff. 

We rely on whatsapp to call, text, or video call (which is btw a new feature). He works in the united states, and we live in Canada. He travels to and from daily over the border to work. While he does have an American cellphone..I don’t. So the cost to call him would be crazy. We don’t need a long distance plan because its not worth it for us. There are tons of apps that one can use with wifi or using your mobile data service. He still has a canadian phone obviously for being home during vacation, evenings and weekends. 

Google Calendar (shared)

My hubby to be is not really a paper and pen type of guy for reminders, and with the way the the digital and technology world is booming, he loves good calendar. We share the google account, which is a personal one where we update on the regular as the schedules pop-up. There we’ll update dates and times for appointments we have for the kids, ourselves, and extended family events. He also includes important work schedules I need to be aware of. Because, he travels for work at times, it’s important for us to be aware of the time he’ll be gone and what important, scheduled appointments he may miss. This way we’re able to create a plan accordingly. 

Loose Paper Reminders

There are always loose papers on the kitchen island for him to look at when he gets home. It could be lose papers from school that our son brought home, sports he’d like to join, or events where I know his attendance is required. At times there also love notes, and pictures the kids have made for him to guess or scribbles for him to read. Guess which types of loose papers we enjoy keeping? 

Verbal Communication 

While there are a ton of apps that can help with keeping each other on lock with our family appointments, the old verbal communication is still key (where you’re only limited to 50 characters), in keeping each other on top of things 😉. This allows us to take the time to communicate to each other the extended details of appointments scheduled in our calendar. Its always better and recommended. 

Life with kids can get super chaotic, and keeping each other leveled with important information stored in an accessible organizer is how we’re able to keep our shit together as parents and partners.

How do you keep your partner in the loop?

MM, out! 

Breaking (s) point.

I envy those who have a breaking point and step forward from there they begin to heal, they begin to piece things together, they begin to see the light in their darkness.

I’ve had some of those, but it never stuck.

I’m staring at my daughter, looking at her sing in words she babbles to a song she’s never heard before. As she looks at me singing to my soul, in her eyes I wonder if she knows me. Knows me more than mom who fetches her milk, feeds her as she needs, and cradles her to rest. 

I wonder if amidst all the things I do on the daily that’s mostly repetitive from days I could barely remember-if I still know me. 

I’ve been feeling kind of lost. Unasked to settle in the now and find peace in what my life IS NOW. I’m not unhappy in where I am in my life or the people on the daily that blesses me with laughter, kindness, love, friendship, support, and all the good things that kindness brings about. I’m grateful for the family I’ve been blessed to have.  For the life I’ve had to this point. But a part of me still lingers in question and wonder of where I root myself. I wonder if I’ll get out of the funk I’ve been in, feeling complacent, feeling lost, feeling less than accomplished. 

My body has been failing lately. I hate to admit that I can’t do everything, because lord knows I try. But my body is telling me otherwise. My back has been in pain for the last couple of days, feeling worst today. The numbness troubles me, wondering if it’s anything to be alarmed about. But perhaps it’s all just a sign of exhaustion and tiredness. I’m praying it subtles it’s pestering. 

There’s a lot in my head..just can’t find the right thing to express it. Perhaps I hold back on myself too. 

xo, MM 

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J, gets to see the movie Sunday night. I wasn’t his first choice to take, to go see it. I won’t be seeing it, since I’m the designated parent to babysit.