7 Tips on Surviving Part-time Motherhood 

J, is a project engineer for an automation company who supplies for the automotive industry. He works long hours, and spends very little time at home, aside from the weekend that flies by so quick. J also has to travel for work to oversee installations of their projects, provide tech support, and so forth. The trips away from home varies in length. One trip can be six days, the next, a few weeks with weekends at home or a month coming home just one weekend. 

What I know of this life is glamourized by the veterans who have gone, or is going through the same situation. They put out a picture of the perfect husband who provides from never being home and a housewife dressed to the tee, baking, getting homework done, clean home and well-behaved children. 

Let me tell you though.. that shit is a lie! 

I’m confused, obviously. Conflicted between being a supportive partner who wants her guy to be happy and to achieve goals for himself, and needy partner who can’t handle motherhood alone.

It’s pretty overwhelming to have to manage everything at the home front 24/7 and have absolutely not a minute to breathe. No there isn’t family or friends to depend on. We moved 3.5 hrs away from all of that to chase the dream. It’s so hard to find the balance between being supportive and bitter because really, only one of you are working towards your goals. It’s a bit hard to do it at the same time, when you’ve got three children, two of them under two. 

I spent the last three days drained. The crying, the whining, the fighting, the never ending demands of little midgets who rule every bit of you. I mean, who’s the adult here? I’m pretty sure that’s just a title..and whatever power you think you have over three children is laughed off by their evil little minds that are so clever and manipulative. You win some, you lose some. 

But in all the chaos of part-time single parenting, here is what I learned..

1. Forget Routine and Expectations, seriously 

No, you cannot have plans and not break them. No you cannot think you’ll clean after dinner, and get it done. No you cannot expect a toddler to not get up on her high chair 20 million times, while she’s eating. No you cannot expect your 1 yr old to sit in her high chair for every meal time and have that go smoothly. No you cannot go out to grab a few things are the market, without someone having a temper tantrum or spilling something, or Pooping, or puking. There is no point to scheduling. 

2. Take-out, for food 

I swear the last time J was gone, we ate nothing but take-out.. our garbage and recycling literally filled with Chinese food boxes from chicken wings, Tupperware of noodles, and pizza boxes. That’s all we ate at every meal. You cannot cook a nice meal with two children, under two. Are you crazy? How do you even? I cooked maybe once – it was taco. 

3. Take-up drinking

For someone who stopped drinking after having her first child, I’ve become a light-weight. But I feel like if I take it up again, my tolerance will get better right away because the amount of drinking I should be doing for the amount of craziness it is to get through one day equals to about $24 — three bottles of “girls night out” pink juice with a hint of alcohol for the weak tolerance, people. 

So $24×5=$120/week, 15 bottles/week..yes I’m finally an alcoholic! Perks of motherhood 😆

4. SCREW CLEANING

Your house will never actually be clean, because who has time to do that while you’re dying from every other chore of being a lone parent? So screw it. I should start using the dishwasher. We’ve lived here a year and like every other Asian mom out there, my dishwasher is merely for drying dishes and storing large pots. Shame! 

5. Small trips

Party city, Wal-Mart and The Superstore has become our go-to place during the weeknights. I swear, these places either save me from wanting to strangle myself from the stress, or it’s heaven on days where I can find something for distraction. 

6. Video chat 

Thank God for technology. Having to ability to video chat, allows for the mixed emotions to still be shared on the table. Crying, screaming and face time, like he never left. 

7. Zero fuc*s

You are absolutely out of your mind if you thought you’d still live your normal, while the other adult is gone. Nope! Everything is chaotic. You don’t get to be a responsible adult, and get shit done. Nope! You get to be a sloppy, teenager, babysitting little siblings, who eats noodles, for two meal times and miss breakfast because you’d rather sleep some more. All rules, all schedules, everything is literally out of whack. So just live it! 
Honestly at the end of the day, you kept your kids, alive and together. They’re probably traumatized from all the demonic screaming you did all day, but the peaceful quietness that come after they close their eyes, is the perfect feeling of worth it for the sacrifices you make as individuals in an adult relationship. 

MM, out! 

Making Goals as SAHM

I had recently read a blog by a fellow blogger (Shann Eva’s Blog) on her March Goals. She’s incorporated the goals she has yet to achieve with new ones she’s made, and the included short-term and long-term goals.

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I find as a Stay-at-home-mom it’s so crucial to make goals for oneself. It’s so important to have something to work towards, because lord knows if you didn’t you’d just do this motherhood thing front, back, side, and front again. AND LETS BE HONEST, you can’t possibly just MAAAAAAAM all day, everyday, for as long as you’re living. I mean, it can’t all just be that! It doesn’t make you bad at motherhood or a bad mom at that, for wanting more! It doesn’t mean you can’t have other accomplishments,  other than birthing children (although that pretty much tops it all).

As moms, we accomplish tens and thousands of tasks all day. Well most of those tasks are not of ours. Not of anything we really want to do or want to be doing. It’s insane how much of us we pour into the lives that rely on us. I get it, we’re moms, I get it we’re supposed to because how else do we profess our eternal love for our children who is supposed to be our world and nothing else. Well, it makes me a rebellious mom, perhaps. I do what I want, on my own terms, based on my own ideas and understanding of motherhood.

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I’m making monthly goals. That’s all!

Because March is almost done, and I’d rather start them at the beginning of the month, I’ll write this for April 2017.

 

April 2017

  • work-out 4 times a week, for 40 mins a day.
  • write in my journal daily with affirmations, negatives to positives, memories, moments, and fill a page at least (thorughout the day)
  • say at least one good thing that I love about each member of my family-to them, everyday
  • give myself an hour each day, to write in my journal in peace
  • eat healthier meals and try not to skip eating
  • try and smoke less
  • learn some breathing excercises
  • do one kind thing for someone, anyone, small, or big
  • Take a few hours on the weekend to dedicate to writing scheduled blog posts
  • Dedicate a time during the night to complete tasks for my blog page on facebook & for my blog site.
  • TAKE A BREAK, daily
  • Complete any wedding stuff every weekend

 

I will complete as many of these goals throughout the month, and whatever I don’t complete, I will add on to my next month’s monthly goal post. Let’s make each other accountable for what we want to achieve for ourselves!

I know it seems like another long list of tasks for you to complete, but this is for you. I promise it will make you feel good!

 

It will make [YOU] feel good!!

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MM, out!

Tips on surviving March Break (Staycation)

Sunday is half-way done, and we’re leading into a full-week of screaming children, trying to figure out when time starts and ends in one day. If you’re like me who’s taking on a staycation instead of a fun trip outside the country, then you’re going to need some tips on how to get through the week without spending a ton, just to make it fun.

In case you’re not a frequent visitor on my blog, I have three children, Apollo (8), Artemis (2), and Cassiopeia (1). The ages of my kids, will probably determine the type of activity I’m going to engage in throughout the week, because my husband doesn’t get March Break off. He also cannot take the time off to invest into some planned trips within our city, because he’s swamped with a list of “finish me now” deadlines. So I’m truckin’ through March Break, alone. THAT’S OK though. The husband fill figure some night time activities with the kids.

Remember one thing: while March Break is usually for kids to take a load off from school, it’s also a week you’re taking off to take a break! So no pressure on having to pressure yourself on doing crazy, tiring adventures-unless you’re into that!

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Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner

It’s inexpensive to eat at home, since you’re already home and not staying at a 4-5 star hotel outside of your country. Take that opportunity to save on meals. Take the kids on a trip to the grocery with you and pick-up items they want to incorporate into their meals. Come up with meals that require them to participate in the process. They’ll love the process, love what they’ve made and it’ll taste delicious for your wallet, with all that cash you’ll be saving on eating.

I understand not everyone want to make the trip to the grocery store with children in tow, but honestly if you have one of those groceries with tiny, training carts, it won’t be as bad. Allow them to create a list for themselves, and one-by-one check it off with them through the aisles. This may take a bit longer than usual, but again this fun experience goes under fun times during march break.

Allow a couple or few meals to be planned outside of home. Perhaps, two days of the week you go out for lunch at your local soup and sandwich joint you haven’t tried before, or their favourite restaurant. A few nights can be at your favourite dinner restaurant. Go out as little as you want, and do it on a budget you set right from the beginning of the week.

 

Invite Family over

Yes, some of you may be scoffing at your computer or mobile right now, thinking are you nuts? That’s more work for me and march break is for me to take a break. Wait a minute..I promise I’m into something here.

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The grandparents are coming towards the end of the weekday. They’ll be coming over from three hours away, for four days. A little more than half of the week they’ll come spend some time with the grandbabies. They’ve set-up excursions to the indoor waterpark we have in Windsor, and that means a pass for march break for unlimited, exhausting swimming for the “boy-child” ™.

Do you see what I did there? Having family over wont be the end of the world for your march break, break. They’ll come to give you a break, and gain their points on best grandparents ever! You’ll only really conjure up energy for breakfast, dinner, and hang-out time before bed. You can use your pass for breakfast and dinner at a restaurant instead of cooking yourself.

 

Local funmall, skyzone, frozen yogurt, etc..

  • In between the days when you can’t send off your kids with the family, take them to your local favourite places. Apollo loves the only major mall in Windsor, Devonshire. I don’t know why, but he loves heading to that place more than the outlet mall. Perhaps, it’s the cinnabon store they have, or the tiny vendor for mini-donoughts that they have. Either way, it’s a few hours spent straining your eyes on checking out items you don’t necessarily need to buy. Go shopping for some spring/summer outfits for the kids. Great time to get it out of the way before the rush of season of-shoppers.
  • We have a trampoline and go-kart place here called, Skyzone. An hour there, will surely tire out the kids, in time for a nap at home. Or maybe they wont make it pass the parking lot.
  • After dinner dates to your local frozen yogurt joint, like Menchies, is always a fun drive to do for dessert!

 

 

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At-home planned fun

It’s still quite cold in Windsor, ON (Canada), so we’re going to keep the fun indoors.

  • Movie nights with popcorn and other snacks
  • bedtime in a tent (playroom set-up or basement)
  • game boards
  • forts

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Party – your kid’s close friends who’s also on a staycation

Invite the parents. Make it into a party where the kids can hang out, entertain themselves, and make it into a pot lock. Pot-lock allows for less meals made or bought by you, and if you have yet to meet the other parents (like us), this is the best time to. It doesn’t suggest, leave your kids and come back. Buy a case of beer, a few bottles of cheap wine and you’re good for a night of partying with your kids. It’ll be loud, and probably get a little messy with a few kids, but that’s ok just for one day of the week. Remember you’re not inviting the whole class!

In the end, you’re entitled to create a week of whatever you’d like to do for March break. These tips are merely for your kids to survive a possible boring week, without losing your mind. Creating a chill, and inexpensive week is always awesome in my books.

Are you on a staycation for March break? What are you doing? Hit me up in the comments to share your tips!

 

Thanks for stopping by!

 

MM, out!

 

My top 3 Transitional Toys (from Babies to Early School-age)

There are those toys as moms that we keep during every spring cleaning fest we have. Toys we just can’t get rid of because our different aged children ranging from babies to early school-age (7 yo) still continue to play with.

My top 3 transitional toys:

Blocks

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I have had these blocks, since Apollo was a toddler. I have kept them, year after year, and he continues to play with them even know at eight. We ended up adding to the set, for Artemis. She got a few sets as gifts on her first birthday, and her first Christmas. There is a bin (old art bin) full of blocks, and  an original bag that Apollo’s blocks came in. All I do is wash it once a month, with part water, and a few tablespoon of bleach. I wash it with warm water and soap first, and sanitize it with the water and bleach mix. I let it dry overnight, and make sure that there are no water left in the slots. Blocks are so versatile, that they can be utilized in different aspects of learning. 

Blocks can be used for sorting, counting, and colours, which encourages learning math. Blocks can also be incorporated with our toys like, toy soldiers who used them as structures to jump from, seats for dolls, tables for miniature toys, etc..

Blocks are great at any age! 

Pretend Toys – Food & Kitchen Utensils

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Pretend play is a very big part of play in children. Children love to pretend-play with all sorts of toys, but one common toy that is used for every kind of pretend-play from baker and chef, to mommy and daddy picnics, to imitation of feeding babies are, food toys and kitchen utensils. It doesn’t get old. It continues to be played with, on a regular. Sometimes the kids even go through my drawers to use actual utensils, cups, plastic plates they use for eating. Food toys also contribute to school-age children in teaching them the types of food and what food family they belong in. I know having a picky eater, helps me in connecting the food he eats, with the toys he’s seen. Most of the time, after the food is cooked, and the kids weren’t part of the process, they wonder why the outcome looks so weird. Well utilizing the food toys as tangible examples (especially the ones that cut in half with pretend knives) makes it a little bit comforting for them. 

It’s definitely an awesome keep! 

Balls

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We all know balls are universal. Anyone and everyone can keep them as long as they haven’t deflated. The collection of balls we have from the time Apollo could learn to just hold them, has tripled if not, more. From tennis balls, to soccer balls, to basketballs, to volleyballs, to balls that collect water for summer, to light-weight balls co-used with other toys, playing with balls are just great fun (back it up, you know what I meant), anytime.

Artemis is now into kicking it around, and she gets all these ideas and sees all these moves from her older brother, so having balls around are so perfect for gross-motor skills and active play. Artemis is learning to push the ball to Cassiopeia, where Cassiopeia then learns to stop it and picks it up or even chases it. These are all part of learning. From baby to school-age, balls provide learning for every step in their milestones. 

Children are able to utilize their motor skills according to the size of the ball, the weight of the ball, and eventually categorize the type of ball that it is. Promoting learning through physical activity. 

So, yes, I keep them as long as they’re in good condition.

There are a ton of other toys my kids love, and I’m sure your kids as well. The most important thing is keeping the ones that can grow with them and utilizing them regulary by incorporating them with other toys, and different types of play. 

 

What are some of the toys you keep on every big cleaning session, you do?


 

MM, out!

 

 

 

 

Every Piece of You

There is without a doubt that motherhood takes a tole on everything that is you!
From your health, to your physical standing, to your emotional state, to your eating habits, to your washroom routine, to your sleeping routine, to everything else in between.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had carpal tunnel from the repetitive work of motherhood.

I don’t know how many times, I’ve missed meals from making sure my kids are fed, and whatever I have decided to eat instead..made it into their tummies and I’m not even mad about it. Sometimes, I sneak it into the bathroom by the kitchen because I don’t have a walk-in pantry that I can lock and my bathroom in my room, doesn’t lock..just so i can take a quick min to eat something. When i say quick, i mean quick before they noticed you’re gone. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten sick from the germs they bring home, only to not get any rest time because, that’s not what motherhood is about (Am I right, or am I right moms)!

I don’t know how many times, I’ve had to sort of “forget” my emotions, or at least I think I’m forgetting it, only to seep in on times I’d rather not have it. AND I LOSE IT, every single time! 

I don’t ever take my washroom breaks seriously, because I always have a full audience, mischievously going through my monthly stacked of pads, make-up, and other things I store in a washroom/bathroom.

Don’t even get me started on sleeping. What is that? Who does this? 

Amidst all this that seem so hard to sacrifice on days when I literally wish I can just be alone for the rest of my life, my precious children who drive me nuts on the daily, are everything I can ever ask for in life. The blessing, to be their mother, their friend, their provider, their protector, the teacher of love, understanding, care, and everything we moms are responsible for on the daily, is everything I could ever want out of my life.

I am always grateful, and thankful for being able to be a mom and have the opportunity to have my own little mini-me’s to live life and to be my legacies, if nothing more.

 

MM

 

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On the Daily w. Mars

As I sit here and try and conjure up a list of things I do throughout the day, as to why I’m so exhausted all the time, I realized the importance of LITTLE THINGS. You see a day in the life of any moms, a stay at home one at that is often misconceived for doing absolutely nothing. So I thought I’d share with you what I do on the daily.

4:15 a.m. 

My alarm goes off to encourage J to get up and not miss his alarm set for fifteen minutes later. While J, usually gets himself up with or without my alarm (though sometimes from exhaustion, he misses his two set time). But as a wife, these are the small things we do for them. In the last few weeks, from being super tired due to being up throughout the night to feed my now one year old, Cassiopeia who still cries for milk at least twice during the night. Lately, Artemis has also been whining for milk at least once during the night. I don’t know why Artemis has started with this, because after she was born she only spent a few months doing this. Then as soon as she learned to sleep through, she was great. Perhaps, more and more as a two year old, her sleep gets disturbed by her baby sisters cries and the only way she knows to get back to sleep is the soothing coolness of milk. With that said, when you go to be past 12 a.m. most nights, and rarely due to the kids, and more because of your brain being incredibly annoying and keeping you up with unbearable thoughts of everything and nothing at the hours of rest-it proves the theory of moms being sleep deprived.

7:10 a.m. 

This is my second alarm for Apollo, the now eight year old who is by law required to go to school like most children. I’ve started giving him the responsibility of waking up with an alarm and helping himself get ready and fix a breakfast he’d rather enjoy. I’ve accepted that my versions of breakfast, as half-fancy as they are, is not something he likes and almost, always, would rather suggest to me what’s better than what I’ve got. Usually Nutella wins. Because nuts aren’t ever allowed these days to school, I often allow it for his once a day intake of all that hazel-nutty goodness. I used to have it for lunch at times as a child. There are tons of good lunches I used to have as a child and not necessarily healthy for you but with the times we live in, everyone is either organic based foods, or something But that’s not really for me to elaborate on, as each parent is entitled to those choices for their family.

Most of the time, Apollo misses his alarm, or will get up, turn it off, turn the lights on in the bathroom, and run the faucet. It racks up my bill for water and hydro by the way, because he’s actually gone to bed to go back to sleep when he does this. Ugh, it makes me so mad. I’d always find myself up there waking him up, and upset at the fact that he’s wasting so much energy and water. But really, it’s because my 8 year old who was just seven before Saturday that just passed, managed to trick me! He’ll spend about 20 minutes brushing his teeth, in between playing and staring at himself in the mirror. He’ll receive another reminder to hurry and that’s usually when he decides to finish pretending to brush his teeth. He’ll then take another 10 minutes getting dress, in between playing with toys or reading a book, because when your kids have no concept of time, or care for time, this is usually how the drill goes. He’ll finally make it downstairs, where his breakfast is waiting, a Nutella sandwich, with a cup of milk, 2 gummy vitamins, and a 1/4 cup of vitamin c. On the off chance that I get him to eat anything else, I’ll offer him, waffles, cereal, or muffins (you probably think how unhealthy). Well that’s all he’d really say yes to, unless i had about two hours to fight him throughout the whole meal time on eating and forcing him to eat what I view as healthy. He’d be late for school, or never make it!

8:45 a.m. 

We leave the house, considering I’ve strapped on Cassi in her car seat, had the middle one dressed in outdoor gear, and we’re moving along out the door, without any fuss. Most morning, the idea of going out the door, into the car is a good thing for my kids. So it’s not always tears, and fighting, and screaming. We get to his school in 3-4 minutes driving to, but if we had to walk like we did last summer, it takes about 25 minutes to get to, and from. So there goes almost an hour of exercise you say.

8:55 a.m. 

We’ve usually returned from dropping off Apollo to school.
I rarely take the girls with me for any types of errands, because it’s either I didn’t have enough time to take with me a diaper bag, or I’d rather feed them breakfast at home and having to get ready again to go out and run errands is just too greatly in exhaustion. I’ve accepted I’m weak, alone, during mornings. That I don’t have the patience to get through the crying, or the need to run around the grocery store chasing a two year old with a baby in a double-stroller. Trust me, I’ve tried the giving them responsibilities and including them in the process. But why?! Why can’t I just grocery in peace. Thus, mos of the time I wait on J to get home from work to do all the errands I require to do. Aside from doctor appointments, or anything else that needs me to do it in the day.

I make the usual eggs, and spam (ham), for Artemis. She’s not a picky eater. She’ll usually want to opt for a Nutella sandwich like her brother, but I’m usually at good at redirecting her wants through voice changes (haha-winning). She’ll have a choice of oatmeal, eggs and spam, or something of left overs she’s filipino enough to have without overthinking the idea of it’s breakfast, these are not breakfast foods.

I then clean up.
I sweep the floor, wash the dishes from the morning, the bottles from the night before, and put away dishes.

9:15 a.m.

The girls take some time to play.
They do this, while I multitask on social media. Whether that means, I check notifications, emails, comments, write, or just browse.

10:30 – 11:30 a.m.

I get the girls to nap. Usually it takes only 15 minutes to get them to sleep, on a good day. If not, it does take the hour to.

11:30 a.m.

I continue finishing up my stuff. Blogs, emails, etc..
I usually tidy up the house, take some time for myself, if I didn’t end up napping with the girls.

1:30 p.m.

Lunch. Clean-up, sweep, and ready to get their older brother from school.

2:30 p.m. 

We head to the school to wait for about an hour, because parking by the fence is easier with the girls without having to take them out of the car to get him from the confinement of the school. It’s hard to get parking by the fence, if you’ve come past 3 p.m.

3:30 p.m.

Apollo is out. We head home and they have snack. Apollo does homework. Nap for the girls.

4:00 p.m. – 5:30 p.m.

I begin making dinner. Prep, cook, and feed the kids. Apollo showers.

5:30 p.m. 

We relax. Well the kids relax.

6:30 p.m. – bedtime

J gets home, and he has dinner. Then it’s time with their dad. If I need to go run errands, I leave after everyone has eaten dinner and is just taking some time to relax. It could be a hockey game watching time, while the girls play, while Apollo gets an hour of screen time. by 7:30 p.m. he gets ready for bed. By 8:00 p.m. he’s in bed. This may be time for tag in terms of him coming out of his room, going back, until he finally falls asleep.

After getting back, I usually do all the dishes that were left after cooking, and eating. I put away any groceries I might have bought. I put a load or two in the wash. I tidy up the kitchen, the play area, get the girls ready for bed and all the bottles ready for the night.

Everyone on most nights is in bed and asleep by 11:00p.m. I take the time after to shower, read through contents online to influence or help me with my blog. I either write, or email back, or anything else I want to do for myself.

12:30 a.m. or 1:00 a.m. 

When I go to sleep.

 

In between these times, there are obviously diaper changes. Somebody at some point was sick. Someone at some point, exploded out of their diapers and I’m washing them up, their pooped-on clothes, and everything in between. There’s the constant fighting, tugging between each other for toys, and everything you can imagine above all the needs and have to’s. 16299789_10154809117160619_2981849759241851080_o

 

 

My 3 min saver 

It has been an insane last couple of weeks with stomach flu, questions on my motherhood techniques and down days..but today, today im feeling upbeat. 

As a mom of three, you barely get a second to yourself. If your hair is a mess, your clothes have some unknown stain, uncertain if you’ve brushed your teeth and even sometimes not sure if you’ve finished peeing before running to one of the kids calling out to you. It takes a worried mom literally 2 seconds to run from her bathroom to the living room struggling to pull her underpants back up. In many situations, i get to that child and its a cryz-out for “a snack”. 

With that said, after moving from Toronto, I’ve had zero life. I mean what has changed really? I didn’t have much even when we were still in Toronto, with three kids. But at least i had friends. Well, my only friends are really my baristas at my local starbucks. Most of the time, they’re the only ‘adults’ i see all day and have the opportunity to hear me speak, not scream, not whisper..speak! 

They inspire me, and what they don’t know is, they are the 3-minutes that saves me in moments when im falling apart. Moments when i cannot mom any longer, moments when i just need another adult to speak and remind me im still alive. 

So for those of you moms who have 3-minute savers, take it, keep it, and cherish it. Who knows, maybe a minute more after, you’re due for the next challenge of motherhood again. 

Have a blessed weekend, ya’ll! 

P.s. Happy 1ST Birthday to my sweet baby, Cassiopeia! ❤

MM 

Half Point

It’s been nineteen days since my last post. It’s been crazy busy in the last few weeks, with small minor details consuming our days. It’s not very often when we get ‘down time’. There’s always plenty to do. Aside from mommy duties, there are a ton of stay-at-home mom stuff that needs tending to.

The last three weeks, seemed to have been a little easier with going out. Exactly three weeks ago, I got my license to legally drive. It’s been great to to just go when you have to. I’ve taken Apollo on ‘mommy and kuya’ dates, frozen yogurt treats with Arty, and small ventures to the grocery and Starbucks for some ‘me-time’.

Apollo was to spend two weeks at his grandparents in Toronto, but half-way through his mini-vacation away from home, he missed us and wanted to come home. We drove to Toronto, two consecutive weekends in a row. Dropping him off, and then picking him up. He, of course, changed his mind, the minute we arrived. Bribed with the thoughts of camping in the backyard with Papa, and other small adventures with the person he admires most, Papa. We didn’t end up letting him stay, because missing him was just too much. So now, the house is filled with noise, running around, and constant ‘mommy can I play on the Wii-u”, “watch YouTube”, “play NHL on the PS4”, and so on. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The girls and I have been sick this week. In the middle of summer, it’s always fun to be sick…said nobody! Perhaps, we’re all just a little tired and then some.

Does anybody know what happened to summer? It’s already half way done. It seems like it was just last week, when Apollo finished Grade 1, and we’re excited about the summer at home. Now, it’s half way over and we’re thinking about school shopping for Grade 2. On that same note; Apollo is going to Grade 2. Whoa. Where did the time go? I can’t believe he’s going into Grade 2. It’s all too fast.

Two months from now it’s Halloween, and it’ll be Cassi’s first Halloween. Then two months after that, it’s Christmas. I’m not mad though. Christmas is the most exciting time of the year in my household. We absolutely love Christmas. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the one who gets everyone riled up about it. But hey, I can’t wait. It’s definitely exciting to decorate and have the kids celebrate this wonderful time. It puts an emphasis on Family, not that it’s not emphasized enough throughout the year. But it makes it a must! I can’t wait!

I realize this post barely has anything for you to ponder about. But then again, I said I would only share what I had in mind.

Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday…wait, it’s Wednesday!

Just a rant of updates for you.

 

xo, MM

 

It’s always, YOUR TIME

I was sitting in bed last night contemplating whether or not to turn the fan on in the room. And suddenly I realized how lucky I am. I am sitting there with a controller for the fan that sits above us. No I didn’t need to get up to press a button, or turn a switch on. I could sit in bed and have this controller do it for me. I got to thinking about how J and I started…


3236_91744935618_1530498_n.jpgJ and I lived in Scarborough, ON while I was pregnant with Apollo. J worked as a Reservations Manager, and I as customer service rep for U-Haul. I lost my job, for some petty stuff, and we had to make due with J bringing in the one income. We eventually moved in with his parents, to help with cost, just a few months before I was due to have Apollo. I remember J telling them I was pregnant. It was the most difficult thing in the world for him to do at the time. While I was twenty, and he was twenty-three, we weren’t financially stable. This was our fear for starting a family, as well as  his parents’. We understood that. But this wasn’t a yes or no answer. This was a moment in both our lives we had to stand-up to our responsibilities and move forward from there. For those thinking ” You could have had an abortion.”, this was not an option for either of us. My beliefs are strong with life-changing situations such as this, and I wasn’t going to be selfish and run away.


When Apollo was born, J had taken parental leave to help me with the first few months of caring for a baby. After all, I had no clue what to do. I don’t have siblings, never did I have to take care of a baby alone. While my experiences in babysitting my little cousins, and baby nephews and nieces, it was a completely different experience to care for my own baby. Luckily J had a baby brother, who was sixteen years younger than him. He had gained experience in diaper changing, feeding, and changing clothes of a tiny baby. I, on the other hand, was too afraid to touch the baby. So him being home helped a lot. But this meant what he was earning was cut to almost half of what it was before. He didn’t earn much at U-Haul to begin with. When he returned to work, I had to be home alone with a newborn baby. This proved to be the most difficult thing in the world. But in moments as such, you find your way. You figure it out. You do what you can. Luckily his work moved closer to where we had moved and it was an easier commute for him.

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It wasn’t easy sharing living space with his family. Personalities butt heads, and decision making was difficult for our little family, when you’ve got to be considerate of others. In times when we would fight, it would become embarrassing when we’re yelling at each other and trying to figure out our way together. When you first start a family, it’s not easy. You’re both learning to live together, both learning to do things together. You’re understanding responsibilities together and it puts strains on your relationship. We had to work on this, however way we had to, as long as we figured it out.

When Apollo was five months, we decided it was time for us to take charge of our lives, live through the choices we’ve made, and do our best to do things on our own. Well, we still required help from our families. It got really hard financially. J’s income for two weeks was the amount of what we had to pay for rent. We had gotten a car because we needed to get around and that added on to our costs per month. We had less than the bills we’ve accumulated. We were deep in waters, way above the waist. I had applied for a job at Tim Hortons, because I hadn’t gone to post-secondary studies to have a career. When would I have been able to find the time? That’s the mentality you have when you don’t know any better.Thankfully his uncle, and sometimes my Dad, would help babysit Apollo. This job helped a tiny bit with costs but it still wasn’t enough. Even worse, we had gotten into a car accident, had to get rid of the car, and now we’re down to one income again. J was injured and had to take leave from work. It was one unfortunate event after another. We had a couple floods occur during the few years we lived in that basement apartment. There wasn’t enough money to re-direct to various places. We were late on rent payments, struggled with all our other bills, and could barely afford the luxuries we took for granted when we were single. We ended up having to move back to his parents house again. One night, an infomercial on the television for post-secondary education had popped up while Apollo slept. We were sleeping in the living room on a blow-up bed, since J’s room had become a storage room shortly after we moved out. I thought about it in that moment, ” What would it take for me to upgrade my skills and provide a better life for our family?” I was set on going to school from that point on. Apollo was two and a half. I applied to Humber College and from there we had to move forward. We found an apartment north of where we were which would provide a closer distance from the school I would eventually attend. School was to begin in May and I had to figure out what I would do with Apollo while we were both gone. J had returned to work, and I was going to need someone to watch Apollo. My dad had offered; after a while it was no longer possible. Apollo would eventually turn four and he would require some type of social experience. We opted for child care. The good thing about being in Canada is you get some kind of help with child care fees. We were able to put Apollo in childcare without breaking our banks with the cost because most of the fees have been covered by child care assistance from the government. I felt at ease, knowing someone is watching Apollo while I was in school and J at work. But the feeling of being incapable of caring for my own child was always there. I had to do what I had to do. I worked really hard as a student, and in the end I attained Honours in Early Childhood Education. I graduated Honours.


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After completing my post-secondary studies, I began working part-time, while J worked full-time still at U-haul. Things got complicated for us at that time, because as much we have finally accomplished one of our many goals, he was beginning to hate his job. Five years at U-Haul, it felt like forever. It felt like he wasn’t going anywhere with working there. He felt stuck. He felt unhappy. He didn’t feel like it was enough to provide for his family. We had gotten into a huge fight one night, most likely because his unhappy attitude effected his home life. I’ve had it with the fights and arguments. I needed him to get better. I needed him to be happy again. I needed him to be the J I know. He was lost, far in there, hoping to be saved. Well he’s not one to ask to be saved. I couldn’t save him. I had one thing left to help him. Being the paper-hoarder that I am. I loved keeping papers in boxes for no reason. I had kept his acceptance letters from colleges when he first graduated from high school. WELL before we had Apollo. In this file was a variety of different types of programs he applied for, not knowing exactly what he wanted to do. A few of his options were, Fashion Design, Electro-mechanical Engineering Technician, Business Administration, and a few other ones. Well, I wasn’t too fond of Fashion Design. I had no clue what Electro-mechanical Engineering was, and he’s already had a go at Business Administration and didn’t like it. So he had to choose. I gave him that night to figure it out. It was four in the morning, and he was concerned about what we were going to do for him to achieve this. Well, I had taken out a loan from the government to pay for my studies until I was finished. It was a debt, I was willing to take for the sake of achieving an education to better our lives. J had to do the same. We were about to venture into more hardships and sacrifices to achieve one more goal from our list. We had to move again, Apollo would be starting Jr. Kindergarten at a new school. We moved back around his parents and lived in a much better apartment with two bedrooms. It seemed big for our little  family. I worked and J went to school. We were doing what we can with the income I had, and sometimes we still needed help.

J’s program ran for three years. The first two years happened so fast and just before fourth semester in his second year, we found out we were pregnant with a second baby. This was tough. It was about to get even harder financially. But the thought of being blessed with another child was everything for J and I. We were ecstatic. We knew that it was going to be difficult after she was born  but we were going to do whatever it took, as we have always done in any difficult situations we found ourselves in.

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J had a couple of semesters left to complete, before we could get our lives going accordingly. It was tough being home alone most of the time to tend to the kids. I’d have the responsibility of taking Apollo to school, and picking him up after school. I’d have to tow Artemis in a stroller with me, get home do some house chores. Sometimes I’d be too exhausted to keep up with the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc., but I’d pick-up where I’ve left off and continue. Sometimes I wonder how J and I did it. How we managed all this time to do what we had to do for our family. I don’t guarantee that there were never fights or misunderstandings. There were plenty of that to go around. But just like in everything else in life, stress is rooted from the overwhelming loads of responsibilities. Then just before J was to finish his third year, we were granted another blessing, Cassiopeia. She came, just in time for the transition of all the new changes we were about to venture into. J finished school. Honours, at that. I am so proud of what he has accomplished thus far. He has worked hard in everything. The demands were a lot, even for any other persons, but he did his best at all turns. I am so proud to be his partner through this adventure. While it was all hard and we struggled through and through, we have completed our five year goal, from the time I decided to pursue post-secondary education, to J completing his program. We had achieved a house, and a career to be proud of.

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Life isn’t easy. But if you try your best for any cause, I can guarantee you the outcome is that much sweeter. There is no good in giving up. You will fall time and time again, but if you get up, just get up, you’ll succeed in whichever way. Trust that you can, and believe that you will. It’s that important, to give yourself the chance. If it doesn’t work the first time, try again, you’ll always get an outcome. Good or bad, what have you got to lose?

 

 

 

 

 

“The starting point of any achievement is desire”

 

 

xo, MM

tomorrows sunshine

For the sake of memories. For the sake of being able to scream, and daily, confess the love for the blessings of being a mom.

For as long as I can remember, I wasn’t a celebrated child. I didn’t have birthday parties, every year, nor had one because I meant a lot to someone. I had a couple that i recall; for the sake of photos that’ll eventually find its way to my adopted father, elsewhere in the world. I wasn’t treasured, the way you treasure someone, with tangible memories like photographs, or letters, or daily blogs of confessions about how much they are loved and cared for.

I wasn’t fussed over. I wasn’t valued. I wasn’t worth enough, for anyone to claim me. I wasn’t enough, for someone to ‘keep’ me. No one cried for me. No one hurt for me. No one would have given their life for me, the way you do when you love someone so much.

Because of this…

I am one of those individuals, who flood your Facebook news feed, instagram, twitter, and tumblr, of photographs, status’, notes, and shared articles about my children; about having children; about being a mom; about the struggle of being a parent; about the chaos of marriage, and everything in between. I AM THAT INDIVIDUAL, because I want to be able to look back at the memories I’ve built with my family. I want my children to be able to find these memories when they’ve grown, and one day they’ll wonder what, who, how, why, they are who they are. It isn’t merely for the sake of bombarding others, or attempting to show I’m better than anyone, or that my family values are better than yours. I do this for me. I do this for the legacy of my family . I do this so that my children will remember to value what is most important in our family, each other. I do this so that they remember what it means to fight for those you love, to always give heart, to always be humble, to find meaning in real life, and so much more.

One day my children will have questions. One day they’ll wonder about all sorts, one day these memories will become reminders, it may bring us together when time is distant, or when our minds have found heart elsewhere. It will rekindle deeper appreciation for one another when that is lost or forgotten, it may be a light that helps redefine relationships in each of our lives, maybe it’ll help recall values, or find comfort, bring smiles, provide happy tears, but one thing for certain, it will always bind us together, always and forever.

 

xo, MM

 

Repost from Tumblr – December 23, 2015

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