Whats the struggle

Someone had posted to find out what’s the one thing they struggle with, either as a parent, or with oneself. 

Here’s one of my struggles:

I HAVE A HARD TIME ADMITTING, I NEED HELP.

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I have a hard time with admitting I need help with anything. I could be struggling so hard, but instead of me asking for help, I wait until I’ve given all my strengths and eventually losing my shit.

I have always been this way. That means, it carries through with my kids, as their mom. Because I fear being judged, and looking incapable, I refuse to take that route right from the get-go.

As a child, I had to do a lot of things alone. I had to help myself. Figure things out on my own. This in turn, leads you through life thinking nobody will help you. That everyone is claimed and everyone is already called for. I on the other hand, being adopted and having to fend for myself had to figure a lot on my own. Go through life thinking if I wanted something, I had to get it. If I needed anything, I had to do it for myself.

The truth is

In this exact moment, I realize how wrong I am. How much moments would have been spared from my craziness, if I had just ASKED FOR HELP.

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There will always be people who judge you. There will always be people who cannot be bothered to help you. But there are good people. There are strangers, there are people you know, who care, and are willing to help you.

The key?

ASK!

 

MM, out!

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