My first born is a boy. Ever since he was a toddler, he has always been the sensitive type. This was a bit of a challenge for J and I because, we are both outspoken people. As Apollo got older, the more we realized how much he internalizes situations more than the next person. He understood more in situations, felt everything, and was easy to cry about arguments or misunderstandings.
J and I kept trying to build up Apollo. Strengthen his heart, make him braver, and less emotional. Why? Why did we do that? Why would we want to change our sweet boy?
There was a phase in his life at an old school where he was being bullied. Instead of teaching him to be kind nonetheless, we advised him to fight back. To never allow anyone to touch him the wrong way, and hurt him. But he couldn’t see things our way. He would cry when we teach him how to be physical. Yes, you’re all judging us right now, but who are you to judge? You parent your way, we parent our way. I’m not asking for your way, I’m openly sharing my experience with my son, because J and I have also learnt from this. Things are different now.
J and I were angry, at the fact that our child so kind and sweet, was physically being hurt because he couldn’t find it in his heart to justify physically hurting someone else for the wrong they’ve committed. Our son, so pure in heart. But we were hurting, and our way was to retaliate. This bully even had his father say mean things behind our son’s back and even about J. The child shared these rude comments with my son, and I felt so heartbroken and angry for my son. But in all of this, my son taught us that being kind has no limits, or has no condition. You are either kind, or not.
Apollo is brave, intelligent, kind, sweet, loving, generous, and thoughtful.
The 5 Things I Want My Sensitive Son To Know
- Be Who You Are, No Matter WhatIn a world that is constantly changing, and not for the better. We need more kind-hearted individuals like you. Who you are, and how you treat others, is what makes this world a little better. We don’t need you to change for us, or for others. Stay as you are, and protect the good in you.
- Choose Kindness, AlwaysBeing kind, is the most wonderful thing in this world. When you share kindness with others, it sends a ripple affect and one of those people you shared your kind heart with, will eventually share it with someone else. Always be kind, in all you do and say.
- Never Let Anyone Hurt You As much as we value your kindness, we would never, ever want anyone to hurt you physically or emotionally. If you feel that this is something you cannot deal with on your own, Daddy and I will always be here to help you through it. Don’t ever let anyone hurt you, in any way. We will be your crutch, we will be your shield. While we cannot always physically be there, talk to us, ask us.
- Love With All of YouLove won’t always be pretty, nor easy. But in real Love is always something good. Love with all of you. Love hard. Love like you want, because there is nothing better in this world, than to love.
- Respect & Honesty Go Hand-in-HandRespect yourself and respect others. Always remember that what you put out into the world, comes back to you. Just as being kind is important, so is being respectful. No matter the circumstances, the words and actions we let go of, have consequences. Always be honest with yourself, be truthful with others. It wont always be easy to tell someone the truth, they wont always want to hear it, they wont always understand. But if there’s anything good you can do for someone is to tell the truth. In time, they will understand.
Life is not easy my son. Life is full of surprises and challenges. What we do with these challenges is what helps us grow. I promise that while it isn’t easy, daddy and I are always here. No matter the distance, the time, the circumstance, we will always be here for you.
MM, out!
“Protect the good in you” – this is such sound advice. We are all born good. I truly believe this.
LikeLike
I love the honest and openness of your post. Also being judged about the bullying we teach our children the same thing, but it has never made us feel good that we do that. It is hard to know someone is hurting your baby and you cannot be by there side to help them. I know I have learned it is part of growing and every child is different we just have to find each of them a different angle to approach the situation.
LikeLike
What a wonderful mama you are to your little one š
LikeLike
Oh my gosh, these are such good parenting tips for ANYONE re: what to teach their kids about love and kindness – though I can see how they’d be esp. useful reminders when parenting boys. I have two girls, but will share these lessons with them anyway!
LikeLike
This is so sweet. I’ve often thought about what my son will be like as he gets older.
LikeLike
Its amazing how sometimes our children can teach us things. I feel as a parent we are only their guides in life. They will be and express their true selves all by them selves. It is amazing to see you embrace his gentleness and yet guide him to be strong. Great post!
LikeLike
what a sweet boy-kindness rules all!
LikeLike
This was so sweet. I’m learning that some people are more sensitive than others, I’m dealing with it from a close family member.
LikeLike
Kindness has no limits. Your son is stronger through your strength. It says so much that you are aware of the issues and you are doing what you can to advocate for him.
LikeLike
I have a son just like this! Thank you so much for your honesty and for writing this – I really needed to read it today!
Tiffany
tiffanystaples.com
LikeLike
I love your honesty, and appreciate the strength it took to let your little one choose his own path and his own way. At the end of the day, these little people may be ours, but they are not us. He sounds like a wonderful soul.
LikeLike
These are such wise words, my 4 year old has started school and it is such a worry for him not to be influenced by others
LikeLike
OMG! This is what I am so afraid of when my son goes to school! he is only 13 months but he is so sweet and happy and I am afraid that other kids will ruin him. But my husband tells me that don’t worry our son got him and nothing will happen bad to him. AAAhhh…
LikeLike
Your son is so adorable!! He is so blessed to have such a good mama!
LikeLike
So sweet, And I love his name btw!
LikeLike
My second boy is similar to this. He is a true sweetheart and I sometimes have a hard time grasping that he is simply more kind and sensitive at heart. I love him dearly.
LikeLike
Aww I love this! He’s a sweet boy! You must be very proud!
LikeLike
This is beautiful. You’re a good mama
LikeLike