Someone had posted to find out what’s the one thing they struggle with, either as a parent, or with oneself.
Here’s one of my struggles:
I HAVE A HARD TIME ADMITTING, I NEED HELP.
I have a hard time with admitting I need help with anything. I could be struggling so hard, but instead of me asking for help, I wait until I’ve given all my strengths and eventually losing my shit.
I have always been this way. That means, it carries through with my kids, as their mom. Because I fear being judged, and looking incapable, I refuse to take that route right from the get-go.
As a child, I had to do a lot of things alone. I had to help myself. Figure things out on my own. This in turn, leads you through life thinking nobody will help you. That everyone is claimed and everyone is already called for. I on the other hand, being adopted and having to fend for myself had to figure a lot on my own. Go through life thinking if I wanted something, I had to get it. If I needed anything, I had to do it for myself.
The truth is,
In this exact moment, I realize how wrong I am. How much moments would have been spared from my craziness, if I had just ASKED FOR HELP.
There will always be people who judge you. There will always be people who cannot be bothered to help you. But there are good people. There are strangers, there are people you know, who care, and are willing to help you.
The key?
ASK!
MM, out!
Author: mommyingmaars
Maria, author of Imommy blog. Maria has three children, Apollo (8), Artemis (2), and Cassiopeia (1). She is due to marry her best friend July 2017. Maria used to be a Registered Early Childhood Educator, before having her second child. She is now a SAHM, that is not paid for wearing many other professional hats. She is, and not limited to some of these professional positions: Doctor, Nurse, Nanny, Chef, Maid, Uber Driver, and so on.. When she isn't mothering or tending to all her other unlicensed professional positions, she loves writing and dancing. She is a previous ballroom and latin competitor. Some of her favourite "stuff" are, turtles/turtoises, the colour green (lime - forest), Laneige's Sleeping mask, make-up, and eating (food is her most favourite self-care aspect). Maria is also currently writing a book on her autobiography, which has been ongoing for the last few years, she's certain she'll eventually finish if she could just get over the hump of emotions attached to exploring oneself. As you read Maria's blogs, you'll get a feel of the true individual that she is, which can sometimes be a fine line of crazy and sweet, but not too sweet. Maria hopes you'll enjoy her blog as she does talking in her head to herself as her fingers skim through the letters on her keyboard.
A message from Maria;
I do not intend to use my writing to impose or tell you how motherhood should be done. I am no pro at this, and find as I share my wisdom from my experiences, that it shall uncover parts of your heart that find it relatable. My posts aren't always consistent in writing, but it is meant for you to to take in as it is. Find it humurous, sad, lonely, or helpful. Whatever it is you take from it, it only means one thing.. that I have found a place in your mind for those few minutes you dedicated to reading my crap. Thank you for being here, for giving me the chance to share my thoughts.
Please return, and remember all written materials and photos on this site, is not to be taken without permission.
xo, MM
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I,Mommy 
It really is so easy to start feeling isolated as a mother, isn’t it? Much of it is definitely my fault, it’s like I just refuse to ask for help, and then I end up overwhelmed and just not very happy. I really like the impact of adding your own childhood into your reasoning – as my childhood was very similar. It’s a beautiful thing to learn you are loved and others are just waiting to help…you just have to ask for it. ❤
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Amen! Oh mama..were strong women. But asking for help makes us that much stronger!
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I am the type of person that will silently struggle rather than ask for help. Becoming a mom made me realize the saying of it takes a village to raise a child to be true. Although I still don’t ask for help on a regular, when I truly need a break I do reach out. Great post.
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Thanks for reading! Its so true that it takes a village. In most countries its still that way..but i feel sometimes living in a westernized country there tends to be way of life where people only focus on themselves. But there are those who are helpful without reservation and expectations of anything in return.
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I have a hard time asking for help. Mainly because I often offer to help others and they don’t take me up on it, so it makes me feel worse about asking them when they all seem to have it so together!
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Thats so true ! Its like why cant i have it together? Why does she look like shes got this whole mom thing to the tee. I mean i see moms like that all the time..they worked out, have the baby in two dressed to the nines about to grab a latté..they’re getting their grocery shopping with the perfect kids who listen..who sits quietly in the cart..shes got her list and she’s storming through aisles, make-up done, nails done..like how?
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THIS! Thank you for your honesty in sharing this struggle, as it touches a nerve with most mothers. We see independence as the ideal, instead of accepting a far more beautiful dynamic – codependence. I also appreciated how your brought in your childhood – I also feel this is a huge contributor in my struggle to admit needing people. Here’s to raising our children to think differently!
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Thank you for your insight and for reading! ❤❤ its so true! Codependency is so important in motherhood! But it isnt always present. Sometimes its a lot harder even when you ask. Hope you come back!
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OMG I’m exactly the same way! Sending you love ❤ I too shall be working on improving my asking for help skills!
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It’s so important to have people know that not everyone is comfortable with asking for help. I think offering is a step to help people like us. LOL
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I love this-moms need to know its ok to admit you need help, and people need to understand that they should offer to help and be sincere about supporting them
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I think that some of the ones most closest to me struggle with no-I-don’t-want-to-help-syndrome. So it makes it that much harder to ask the ones who are supposed to be close to me.
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I also have a hard time asking for help. I have gotten better about it lately and i have really noticed my stress levels are lower.
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is this limited to just people you know? I’m not brave enough to ask people I don’t know too well.
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