Here Comes Eleven!

Eleven Years, Happy for Eleven

In eleven days, J and I will take each other’s hands, look into each other’s eyes and profess to each other, just for each other what this new milestone in each of our lives mean.

 

In eleven days, it will be the eleventh year that we have said yes, everyday to each other. It will be eleven years that we have been in each other’s lives, helping one another through life. It will be eleven years of friendship. Eleven years of trial & error, learning, and understanding each other. 

 

We have gone through eleven years of fun, eating trips, shopping, movies, and down time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FB_IMG_1498885966096[1]It took me twenty-nine years to find someone who I can call mine. Twenty-nine years, to find someone who can tolerate the imbalance of my nature. Twenty-nine years to find someone who loves me for who I am, and not what he chooses to love of me. Twenty-nine years, for me to realize that while it’s easy for me to give love, it is a lot harder to receive it. But when you have been with someone for eleven years, that person teaches you to love yourself so you can receive love.

 

 

 

Different Individuals, One in The Same

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It has been a roller-coster ride with J. From becoming young parents at twenty-one and twenty-three, not knowing how to be together and raise another, to learning together how to be adults, how to be parents, and how see our differences and how it strengthens us, together.

 

 

It wasn’t all easy. 

As time went, we understood what it meant to be ourselves, and how that bonded us together. It allowed us to give freely to each other, provide limits, and to understand where we stood as individuals, to keep us grounded. It wasn’t all easy. But we said yes each time, anyway.

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“We grew together. We experienced life on our own, together. We learned from one another, and found ways to push each other. “


What I Have Learned These Last Ten Years…

You won’t alnways see eye-to-eye in everything. You won’t always understand each other, in the exact moments you need to. Things won’t ever be perfect. You will be you, and he will be him. But however each of you make it in the end, is a testimony that your faith always led you back together.

We don’t agree on everything. We DO fight. We don’t make decisions alike, but we always know when to find each other. 

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To more years of doing things together, loving one another, looking at each other with laughter, finding fun with each other, and raising three little rascals, together!

“Here’s to looking at you, kid!”

 

 

 

MM, out!

 

 

Lets Get it, TOGETHER!

Alright, alright, settle down..

The kids are all finally asleep..im writing this from my phone so bear with me if it doesn’t come out esthetically correct (c’mon you’re here for more than that)…

Its been an exhausting three days, sort of half way through the week..but when you’re a stay-at-home-mom, the week ending and the weekend finally being here doesn’t really make much of a difference in my books. The only thing that gets a break is the drop-off, pick-up errand, everything else stays the same and more things get added on, like laundry!

Ugh, lots of friggin’ laundry! What in the heavens, did they strike a deal with the laundry god and he’s all bitter about some next dryer lover who broke his heart and now he punishes us moms with a mountain of laundry on a weekly basis? I personally am not the type to do a load a day..i feel like it drives me nuts, having to remember and forget the damn loads. So i prefer the weekends to dedicate to laundry..however many I get done on whatever day. All i know is it gets done. 

I also do major grocery shopping on the weekend..for all necessary lunches, meals, and whatever I’ve forgotten on my short-runs throughout the week. I go out during the week for small purchases like milk, eggs, bread, and produce. So the weekend is nice for stocked fridge! 

I have feel feeling extra beat this week, maybe because we had two of my kids birthday over the weekend, and the in-laws were over. I mean one night, almost 2 days is really not that long but its exhausting! I think because I’ve only ever fancied having people at my house, now that we could house extended persons, I’m not used to it. I mean my hands were nonestop under running faucet, and at the end of Saturday night, they were dry and hurting I couldn’t open a gatorade bottle. So leading into this week, i was already done before it could even start! 

So obviously you’re kinda seeing through my rant that this leads to a question someone else asked…

I am part of a few mom groups on facebook (yes, yes i am. Let me know if you want in *insert nose rub here*). I am because being a sahm is lonely at times and the only other adult conversations i have are done with my fingers (wait a second don’t take that the wrong way), even laughing because being able to share experiences, relate, get advice is all that easy and hard at the same time. 

So one of the members post: 

I am a stay at home mom, in your opinion should the home maintenance load be shared with your husband if he’s working full time? Or should i take it all as my responsibility since i dont work? My husband is great at picking up after himself but thats usually all he does

Some of the response in the first few were all summed-up to, “well my husband works 50-60 hr work weeks, and he plays with the kids” or “we made a deal before the baby that I’d stay home and he’d work” or “he works really long hours, so i do most of it and thats fine”…ok back it up for a second. I know that i’m as guilty as some of these women, defending my husband-to-be, enabling the idea that because he works that many hours a week, he’s exhausted and im the one who halfly volunteered to stay home because, i just had the baby but, it does not mean he is cut-off from all other responsibilities. 

I am one person, who wears many hats. Yes hunny, i understans your 11 hrs-12 hr shifts a day are super exhausting and draining. It all is in the type of job too..but i work 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, with no benefits, no pay, no bonus, no paid time off, no vacation days. So I hope to god, you’ll find extra strength in you to help me around the house and with the kids after you get home. Of course, only if you love me enough. If not well i guess you’re just in this for insurance money. 

I disapprove of us women having to always defend our partners because we love them and our status in the workforce is “big heart, keep taking, i will always love you”. Please, do yourself a favour..love yourself first, understand to a degree that just because you’re the one already home it doesn’t mean everything else should fall on you! This is a partnership between two people who before kids, were considerate of each other, made sure they were ok emotionally, physically, and everything in between. 

If we as women do not fight for this as their ‘better half’ then we falter in our roles. We falter in our care for ourselves, because we burn out faster. We falter in our ability to lead with love and not resentment. We falter to forget our relationship and the bond that binds it because well at the end of everyday what is left of you, is the tiny spec on the wall that wasn’t covered by god knows what. That spec, thats tired, thats drained, that smell, thats lonely. There has to be a balance between the people who run a family. I’m not a single mom, i am in a relationship that nurtures my ability to love. Then if all the gods, in heaven agree, i must take care of those abilities by not grinding it down to the ground. 

I get it, we’re all entitled to view this sahm differently..but i have to put it out there. This is a partnership, whether it is i am the one at home full-time or vice versa. If working moms could still half-ass manage home too, then so can dads. Its the effort. Its the that part of the working individuals who have a family that remembers to fight for that still because this is not the cot damn 50’s! 

MM, out

LoverFriends

Do you ever wonder when you’ll meet ‘the one’? Ever wonder when you’ll get to marry your prince charming? If you’ll live the rest of your life like a fairytale?

I’ve never been the kind of girl who dreamed up her wedding day, her wedding dress, or the kind of guy I’ll marry. I never believed in fairy tales, and the only reason why I love ‘The Beauty & The Beast’ is because, she sacrificed herself for her Father. Time, and time again I cry to the same part when her dad was in the forest, afraid, and had to leave his daughter.

In high-school I thought, if I had to, I’d marry a rich, old man who is close to dying, and I would burry him, and take all his fortune.

I never thought about kids either, especially when I’ve spent my whole life thinking, I’m undeserving of a family, or for that matter anyone to love me.

J, and I don’t keep track of the years we’ve been together. We don’t have an anniversary either, because we can’t seem to recall when we actually began dating. We enjoyed each other’s company, and we hung out, and I don’t know when that even began and ended. So, we’re not big on special-couples events.

Though we don’t know our special-date, what I do know is, the first time we began dating, I loved him. I loved him, in that way where butterflies shoot out of your stomach; where your heart flutters like it’s singing a carol.

J, was, and sometimes still is, that guy who falls under ‘the bad boy’ type. That’s probably what I love the most about him. I didn’t have to be good all the time, I had fun with him, we laughed all the time, there were no pressure to be anyone, or anything. He was my friend.

He was there through the bad stuff. He was there for the good stuff. He’s still there for all the things I hope for, and want to achieve. He supports me in all that I do, supports me in all that I say (even when he doesn’t agree), he dreams with me, he achieves things with me, I love him for all that he is for me, and for us.

 

xo, MM

 

 

Repost from Tumblr – December 6, 2015

My chance.

Life has a way with experiences. Most of them, one you must learn from. Which means, it sucks, half the time. I can’t lie that the struggle to figure out life’s purpose for me, is really frustrating, and difficult at times. But what’s great about having to go through all that, is being so lucky to have someone.

Someone once said to me, “you get ONE CHANCE to have someone who’s good, who will love you with honesty, who will fill your life with happiness. Hold on to that, don’t let it go.”

I never used to believe in chances. I thought chances were for losers who couldn’t get their shit right, and had to be given a new one everytime to correct themselves, was such a cheat.

But…

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I got my chance to have someone be there for me, be there for the struggles in life. For the times when I’m outta my wits, and I need someone to pick-me-up out my rut, he’s that person. He’s my person. He’s my best friend. He’s my spirit animal, he’s my better half!

I am so thankful to be able to say that this person has so much patience for me, so much understanding, so much heart, such generosity, and such perfect silence, in the right moments, he blows me away.

His love is so raw, so honest, so big, and filled with so much it even gives more to our children, in every pocket.

He’s the epitome of a man’s, man. The epitome of a true leader. The epitome of a great father, and the epitome of the perfect husband.

I am forever thankful to have someone like him. Thankful to go through life with someone like him. Thankful for such an awesome partner to go on the adventures of parenthood. He definitely fills my heart, and my life with so much love, happiness, and joy.

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