Here Comes Eleven!

Eleven Years, Happy for Eleven

In eleven days, J and I will take each other’s hands, look into each other’s eyes and profess to each other, just for each other what this new milestone in each of our lives mean.

 

In eleven days, it will be the eleventh year that we have said yes, everyday to each other. It will be eleven years that we have been in each other’s lives, helping one another through life. It will be eleven years of friendship. Eleven years of trial & error, learning, and understanding each other. 

 

We have gone through eleven years of fun, eating trips, shopping, movies, and down time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FB_IMG_1498885966096[1]It took me twenty-nine years to find someone who I can call mine. Twenty-nine years, to find someone who can tolerate the imbalance of my nature. Twenty-nine years to find someone who loves me for who I am, and not what he chooses to love of me. Twenty-nine years, for me to realize that while it’s easy for me to give love, it is a lot harder to receive it. But when you have been with someone for eleven years, that person teaches you to love yourself so you can receive love.

 

 

 

Different Individuals, One in The Same

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It has been a roller-coster ride with J. From becoming young parents at twenty-one and twenty-three, not knowing how to be together and raise another, to learning together how to be adults, how to be parents, and how see our differences and how it strengthens us, together.

 

 

It wasn’t all easy. 

As time went, we understood what it meant to be ourselves, and how that bonded us together. It allowed us to give freely to each other, provide limits, and to understand where we stood as individuals, to keep us grounded. It wasn’t all easy. But we said yes each time, anyway.

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“We grew together. We experienced life on our own, together. We learned from one another, and found ways to push each other. “


What I Have Learned These Last Ten Years…

You won’t alnways see eye-to-eye in everything. You won’t always understand each other, in the exact moments you need to. Things won’t ever be perfect. You will be you, and he will be him. But however each of you make it in the end, is a testimony that your faith always led you back together.

We don’t agree on everything. We DO fight. We don’t make decisions alike, but we always know when to find each other. 

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To more years of doing things together, loving one another, looking at each other with laughter, finding fun with each other, and raising three little rascals, together!

“Here’s to looking at you, kid!”

 

 

 

MM, out!

 

 

My Open-letter to J <3

It has been very challenging for us lately. I don’t know if ‘challenging’ even comes close to expressing what we’re going through. The turbulence in our life as of late has us, struggling to figure our way through, but I know we’ll get through it because I have you. 

You have been my strength lately, the crutch that gets me through the day, the voice that sees me through the moments. You’re the creases that form my smile, the laughter in my sorrow. You’re the reassurance in my doubts, the comfort in my falls. You’re the one who heals my heart when its broken, and the life that continues to give when mine is low. 

Thank you for being there. Thank you for being silent when all is loud. Thank you for the constant reminder that in all of this, I always have you.


MM, out!

Becoming MRS

Most of the ones who know J and I, know we’re merely Common Law partners. We have been together for the last ten years. In ten years, we’ve managed to complete goals together like post-secondary while have a toddler, and then another within that five year. In ten years, we’ve also been blessed with three kids. Above all, we’ve gone through and have surpassed most of the challenges that life has thrown at us.

We are anything but a typical couple, from the way we show we care and love each other, to how we allow others to perceive us as individuals and as partners through this life. We didn’t always think of marriage. The marriage talk didn’t come until much later in our relationship. It wasn’t because we didn’t think it was important or something we’d ever do. It was just something we didn’t feel was right for us, as soon as we had our first child. I guess you could say we’re a bit backwards with life’s events.

He recently proposed to me a couple of months ago, with Wonder Woman’s tiara from Mcdonalds, as he laid on the floor of the playroom, and our two younger ones circling around us. It was perfect in it’s own way. A much subtle proposal as I had asked of him. I didn’t want a huge, extravagant, extra kind of proposal. I am not the type of girl that dreamed of this one day, or played dress-up imagining my wedding day with my prince charming. It was perfect in all of it’s way!

July is the big day, and I am as excited as someone who marriage is the first step into being adult. I am excited because we finally get to explore this chapter of our relationship where I become Mrs, and he my legal husband.

We will be having a civil wedding, with 33 guests, along with our three beautiful children. I am so happy that my children get to be part of this day.

It’s crazy how life rolls on through. Being one who never saw this coming, it gives me such an amazing feeling to become his wife, even though we’ve got ten years, and three kids under our belt already.

Anyone else, was, is, in the future, in the same position?

MM

 

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When Peanut Butter hits the fan

It has been quite hard on J and me lately. We’ve found ourselves misunderstanding each other, and unable to find the string that connects us. It’s not rare for these moments to occur, especially when you’re parenting three kids, tending to life on the daily, and crossing off responsibilities on the constant. It’s very hard for J and me to have a moment alone. We don’t ever get the chance to go on dates, alone, or have a moment to hear ourselves converse. It gets tricky when you have children (I’m sure you can all relate to this).

Well? What happens when you’ve had just enough of parenting, and you try to find each other through the dirt, the mess, and the chaos of being parents? You sometimes don’t. So I guess, that’s what’s happening with us. We’re getting all our times mixed-up, and our priorities for each other lost.

I miss him. I see him everyday. We don’t ever get to cuddle anymore. The kids are always occupying the space between us. I wanna tell him secrets. The kids will hear. I miss holding him, as I fall asleep. Arty’s taken my spot, and the arm I used to cling to.

He mentioned we should get a babysitter or a nanny, so we could go out. I spent ten minutes after that telling him with anxiety how terrible I feel about it. I couldn’t imagine leaving my kids with a stranger, because I want a moment to myself. That’s the thing. I don’t know what I’m willing to give up. I feel like the juggle can only be done by me. The feeling of leaving the kids with a total stranger, just boggles my mind. I couldn’t. What if something happens to my babies? Why shouldn’t I be the first to be there, if they ever got hurt. What if that stranger is bad? Ugh. What am I willing to give up for a couple of ours of J & M-time?

My heart feels a little heavy lately. I can’t seem to find the string that connects J and me. It bothers me because we’re important too.

Any words of wisdom?

 

xo, MM

LoverFriends

Do you ever wonder when you’ll meet ‘the one’? Ever wonder when you’ll get to marry your prince charming? If you’ll live the rest of your life like a fairytale?

I’ve never been the kind of girl who dreamed up her wedding day, her wedding dress, or the kind of guy I’ll marry. I never believed in fairy tales, and the only reason why I love ‘The Beauty & The Beast’ is because, she sacrificed herself for her Father. Time, and time again I cry to the same part when her dad was in the forest, afraid, and had to leave his daughter.

In high-school I thought, if I had to, I’d marry a rich, old man who is close to dying, and I would burry him, and take all his fortune.

I never thought about kids either, especially when I’ve spent my whole life thinking, I’m undeserving of a family, or for that matter anyone to love me.

J, and I don’t keep track of the years we’ve been together. We don’t have an anniversary either, because we can’t seem to recall when we actually began dating. We enjoyed each other’s company, and we hung out, and I don’t know when that even began and ended. So, we’re not big on special-couples events.

Though we don’t know our special-date, what I do know is, the first time we began dating, I loved him. I loved him, in that way where butterflies shoot out of your stomach; where your heart flutters like it’s singing a carol.

J, was, and sometimes still is, that guy who falls under ‘the bad boy’ type. That’s probably what I love the most about him. I didn’t have to be good all the time, I had fun with him, we laughed all the time, there were no pressure to be anyone, or anything. He was my friend.

He was there through the bad stuff. He was there for the good stuff. He’s still there for all the things I hope for, and want to achieve. He supports me in all that I do, supports me in all that I say (even when he doesn’t agree), he dreams with me, he achieves things with me, I love him for all that he is for me, and for us.

 

xo, MM

 

 

Repost from Tumblr – December 6, 2015

Sacrifice EVERYTHING

I have saved this video time, and time again. I have never actually sat down and watched this six minute video on Jada Pinkett being a mom. While some of the stuff she said dragged-on, I will say this though… 

Often times, the expectations of MOM’s are so high–that we loose ourselves trying to ‘balance’ everything. Often times, the ones who are more organized, and sergeant about every detail of their life, are the ones who loose their sh*t, about everything. I can attest to this. 


I have spent the last six years of my life as a mother to aK, thinking I’m doing just fine balancing it all. But in the last six years, I’ve had several breakdowns, from exhaustion, and sacrificing everything to be ‘that mom’. What does it even mean to be ‘THAT MOM’?

I don’t want to be just their mom. I want to be an awesome wife, to J. I want to be an awesome ME, so that I can be happy. Happiness isn’t a bad thing. Just because, we’re moms now doesn’t mean we have to forget about ourselves. TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES is really the important key to being able to tend, and care to everyone else that make our family. Our family rely on us for so much, that if all our pieces aren’t pieced together, it will make it that much harder to be the person they need us to be. 

So let me add on to my goal for this year: TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, whatever that means to me. 

  • A coffee break in the morning, before Arty wakes up.
  • A read of an article or two online. 
  • Put on make-up.
  • Get dressed.
  • Blog while Arty naps.
  • Take an hour a day (whatever time of the day to myself).
  • Go out on the weekend, alone.

It is crucial for the health of all moms, to give themselves the sanity they need, to keep their family sane. 

Friends then Wife

Next week, is when things get back to the usual for J. That means, a busy schedule for the next few months. 

One of my many goals for this year is, to REMEMBER I AM A FRIEND FIRST and then A WIFE. 

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This year has taught me that while things may get chaotic, and crazy at times with being parents, and managing life with children, and a list of responsibilities, that I have someone to go through the motion with. 

J, and I spend so much of our time trading skills on who feeds the baby, changes the diapers, takes the firstborn to school, picks up the firstborn, does the groceries, alternates the laundry schedules, and it gets overwhelming. It becomes difficult to recall who we are individually, and together for each other. 

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This year, I have to make all the efforts in the world to remember that while he is the father of the little munchkins we have, and our responsibilities are a list of who does what, when, where… HE IS MY BEST FRIEND. When you have a best friend, who makes you smile all the time, who drives you crazy, who talks your ear out, who loves you with everything he is, and then some, you love that person for who he is to you, not just who he is to everything else in your life

I will talk softly 
I will listen with heart
I will speak as your friend first, then your wife
I will do whatever it takes to remind us, we are US before, ‘Mom & Dad’.

Love, Beb

Loverfriends

Do you ever wonder when you’ll meet ‘the one’? Ever wonder when you’ll get to marry your prince charming? If you’ll live the rest of your life like a fairytale?

I’ve never been the kind of girl who dreamed up her wedding day, her wedding dress, or the kind of guy I’ll marry. I never believed in fairy tales, and the only reason why I love ‘The Beauty & The Beast’ is because, she sacrificed herself for her Father. Time, and time again I cry to the same part when her dad was in the forest, afraid, and had to leave his daughter.

In high-school I thought, if I had to, I’d marry a rich, old man who is close to dying, and I would burry him, and take all his fortune.

I never thought about kids either, especially when I’ve spent my whole life thinking, I’m undeserving of a family, or for that matter anyone to love me.

J, and I don’t keep track of the years we’ve been together. We don’t have an anniversary either, because we can’t seem to recall when we actually began dating. We enjoyed each other’s company, and we hung out, and I don’t know when that even began and ended. So, we’re not big on special-couples events.

Though we don’t know our special-date, what I do know is, the first time we began dating, I loved him. I loved him, in that way where butterflies shoot out of your stomach; where your heart flutters like it’s singing a carol.

J, was, and sometimes still is, that guy who falls under ‘the bad boy’ type. That’s probably what I love the most about him. I didn’t have to be good all the time, I had fun with him, we laughed all the time, there were no pressure to be anyone, or anything. He was my friend.

He was there through the bad stuff. He was there for the good stuff. He’s still there for all the things I hope for, and want to achieve. He supports me in all that I do, supports me in all that I say (even when he doesn’t agree), he dreams with me, he achieves things with me, I love him for all that he is for me, and for us. 

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