When blood is not thicker than water.

Have you ever heard of that saying within the family, “Blood is thicker than water”?
How often in families does that line fail? This line means nothing to me. My adoptive family, literally sticks to this saying. Being adopted, this doesn’t apply to me. But the funny thing is, it’s a two-way street with this line. So I’m going to say, this line is absolutely nonsense.

I realized, as I got older how much the word FAMILY, applies to anyone willing to treat you, and take you into their lives. Family doesn’t mean, just the same blood that runs through your veins. Family is whoever is willing to include you in their lives. Who’s willing to understand where you are in your life. What you have in common, so that getting through life is a little bit easier, together. Family are the friends you make. Family are the people who you meet, and become close to. Family isn’t just blood.

I often think about how sad I am, with those I’ve lost through the years. Whether it be we drifted, or we no longer had our lives aligned. But the thing with that is, you learn from those experiences. You learn that as much as they were a part of your family at one point, time, experience, and life itself finds a way to diminish what used to be. When one becomes too comfortable in their relationships, there’s no longer that light that kindles your relationships. and soars to greatness. It becomes stale. It becomes predictable. It all becomes boring, and eventually it falls apart. I’m not saying being comfortable is a bad thing. But, I am saying when one relies on having their relationships flourish through comfortability, it becomes repetitive.

I’m thankful for the relationships I’ve managed to have through the years. I don’t expect to keep my family small. I know that as time passes, as I get older, more people will come into my life. They will dance, they will drink, they will play a part in my life. I also know that, through time, I will have moments when letting go is important. When those people have given and taken from me, they will move-on and provide that definition of “Family” to someone else. It’s all a cycle, you see.

Define Family

Anyway, I need a snack..

“Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who LOVE YOU no matter what.”

Mental Illness//’#BellLetsTalk’

iYesterday, ‘Bell’, a mobile/television network provider in Canada had it’s supportive initiative about bringing awareness to everyone about the importance of recognizing Mental Illness in our society.

Mental Illness is hard to talk about. Not everyone knows when its happening, or knows what to do when it does happen. There’s a stigma around it, that makes it hard for everyone to be one about it. It is a sensitive matter, and at some point in life people will experience this, maybe not always to its full extent but it happens to a lot of people, every day. 

I personally can relate to this. I have battled depression at many points in my life. I say many points, because I feel like it went away, and came back at certain times for me. But depression doesn’t go away. It merely hides in the back burner, and catches up with you when you least expect it. 

Depression isn’t a thing that you sort of choose to be in. It kinda just takes over you, not choosy of any specific situations. It isn’t that you’re too weak, or inexperience in life that you get into a rut, it’s just sometimes mentally, you get really lost, in the feelings. And everything in the feels kinda just mesh, and you’re a lost soul–until you get help. 

When you struggle with depression, it’s hard for anyone else to help you, unless they’re truly educated about it. You become distant, you become isolated, and it gets hard to socialize. You lose friends, sometimes family members from being in it. 

It’s probably the hardest thing I ever had to go through. To feel alone, to feel lost, to feel like there’s no point in anything. 

Don’t cry for me

It seems that throughout the years, with all the half-wits of life, I’ve managed to stop feeling. Like I mean, just feeling emotions in general. It wasn’t until I buried myself on Netflix watching all ten seasons of ‘Greys Anatomy’ that tears, real heartfelt tears, would stream down my face like it does whenever I recall that part in ‘My Bestfriends Wedding’. You know the one where she confesses her feelings, and it didn’t go the way she wanted it to, and they go on this three-way chase, and she ends up being called worst than the fungi that grows on scum?!

I can’t exactly pin-point when, or where this cold feeling began. But ‘crying has never been my thing’. It shows too much vulnerability. When you show even the slightest bit of vulnerability, you end up looking weak. When you’re weak, you’re irrational, when you’re irrational, you look like a fool. When you look like a fool, the meaning in your life at that particular moment disappears, and well. .there goes a chip at who you are. Gone. Just gone. You don’t get it back.

While the whole world cries to Adele’s latest hit, and Gwen Stefani’s used to love you crap, I’m over here like…what feels?

These days, I can’t categorize anything. I’m usually good at that stuff. Then again, I’ve had a lot; been chipped off me. Then it gets tough to relate to anything. You kinda lose yourself. When you lose yourself, it gets hard to rebuild, coz you don’t know where to start.

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