Here Comes Eleven!

Eleven Years, Happy for Eleven

In eleven days, J and I will take each other’s hands, look into each other’s eyes and profess to each other, just for each other what this new milestone in each of our lives mean.

 

In eleven days, it will be the eleventh year that we have said yes, everyday to each other. It will be eleven years that we have been in each other’s lives, helping one another through life. It will be eleven years of friendship. Eleven years of trial & error, learning, and understanding each other. 

 

We have gone through eleven years of fun, eating trips, shopping, movies, and down time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FB_IMG_1498885966096[1]It took me twenty-nine years to find someone who I can call mine. Twenty-nine years, to find someone who can tolerate the imbalance of my nature. Twenty-nine years to find someone who loves me for who I am, and not what he chooses to love of me. Twenty-nine years, for me to realize that while it’s easy for me to give love, it is a lot harder to receive it. But when you have been with someone for eleven years, that person teaches you to love yourself so you can receive love.

 

 

 

Different Individuals, One in The Same

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It has been a roller-coster ride with J. From becoming young parents at twenty-one and twenty-three, not knowing how to be together and raise another, to learning together how to be adults, how to be parents, and how see our differences and how it strengthens us, together.

 

 

It wasn’t all easy. 

As time went, we understood what it meant to be ourselves, and how that bonded us together. It allowed us to give freely to each other, provide limits, and to understand where we stood as individuals, to keep us grounded. It wasn’t all easy. But we said yes each time, anyway.

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“We grew together. We experienced life on our own, together. We learned from one another, and found ways to push each other. “


What I Have Learned These Last Ten Years…

You won’t alnways see eye-to-eye in everything. You won’t always understand each other, in the exact moments you need to. Things won’t ever be perfect. You will be you, and he will be him. But however each of you make it in the end, is a testimony that your faith always led you back together.

We don’t agree on everything. We DO fight. We don’t make decisions alike, but we always know when to find each other. 

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To more years of doing things together, loving one another, looking at each other with laughter, finding fun with each other, and raising three little rascals, together!

“Here’s to looking at you, kid!”

 

 

 

MM, out!

 

 

#RockingMotherhood be like…

Thank you to one of my favourite mommy bloggers Tina from (No, You Need to Calm Down), for tagging me in #rockingmotherhood!

 

It’s literally taken me a week to get this going. I took about a week off blogging, to deal with coping with my Postpartum Depression. Last weekend was my youngest daughter’s baptism. We had her godparents, and my husband’s family over for the weekend. It went well, but perhaps, I was exhausted from all of it and ended up feeling unmotivated and in postpartum depression mode. I don’t really know how to explain that to you, but I just didn’t feel like myself, nor did I feel upbeat enough to continue on with my blogging to-do’s. 

I have been trying to figure out, how I have been #rockingmotherhood. It’s a lot harder to find things you do so good that you’re rocking this role called, motherhood. Most of the time, we get so caught up with picking-at the bad stuff we do, we are mostly filled with guilt rather than accomplishments.

 

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I am going to try my best to come up with a few things to share with you how I am #rockingmotherhood, but please bear with me.


  1. I, mother 3!

    For most of the day, I take care of all three of my children. All day, everyday. I find this as impressive as someone who can juggle. If you’re new to my blog, then you probably don’t know that we moved three and a half hours away from home (Toronto, ON), because my husband found work over the border in Michigan, USA as a project engineer. He works for an automation company, so this means he spends endless hours working on projects and meeting deadlines. This also means, while he spends endless hours at work, I spend endless hours at home taking care of our three babies and everything else in between. I don’t know about you but having children in general is hard and then you add two more and I can guarantee you, you’ll lose your mind trying to figure out how to do just that.
  2. Queen of Unhealthy Snacks

    I contemplated on writing this, but I am definitely my children’s bestfriend when it comes to getting snacks. All day, my two year old asks for snacks, unless she’s sleeping. So having a crazy amount of snacks in my house is as important as changing your underwear every single day. I also don’t have all healthy snacks (don’t judge me). I grew up not really having all the snacks I wanted for school. So I told myself that when I grow up, I will buy and have all the snacks I want. This also means, I send my son stuff to school I never got like: Lunchables, brownies, cakes, dunkaroos, cookies, fake juice, and the list goes on (I know all the healthy mamas reading this are probably shaking their heads at me). There’s surely a sprinkle of healthier snacks in there, that I just don’t care to mention, but my children aren’t always high on sugar, I promise. Having these “snacks” allow me to miss out on most tantrums about the kinds of snacks they want when we grocery shop. While I didn’t start them on healthy eating, I do try to encourage them to eat healthier most of the time. Those snacks are also not free-for-all, whenever, wherever. These are snacks they have to ask for and not expect to just have.
  3. Lesson in Everything
    I am the strict one, between my husband and I. I usually make all the rules, while my husband sometimes try to bend them for the kids. I constantly use moments and situations as a learning tool. Experiences are so big with my eight year old right now. I encourage him to always take them for what it is, after exerting all possible solutions. When we’ve got none, then we resort to “what can we learn from this”. I teach all my kids the same thing; for every action comes consequence. This applies more to my son, because he’s the oldest and he’s in school, so he has more experience with social experiences. It’s tough for him at times, and I wish I could just bear it all for him, and deal with it all for him. But he is a growing boy, and there are things he has to learn for himself. Whether that means, dealing with it the best way he thinks at the time and still having it be a mistake. Then we deal with it, as it comes. It’s tough being a teacher about life, when you’ve had such a different upbringing.
  4. Treats: Anyday
    I don’t have a strict routine on taking adventures or going out. I usually just go when I want to go. This means, I take my kids with me. Most of the time these sporadic trips are really more for them than me, but it makes me happy. For example, yesterday I was overwhelmed and not feeling too well. Apollo had gone to a birthday party, which J drove him to. The girls and I stayed home. The girls were supposed to have been napping. Only one of them did. So the other, watched t.v. with me. She was of course miserable after missing that nap. Well soon after, Apollo and J returned. Apollo obviously had a loot bag, and my two year old would obviously become jealous for having cool stuff in a bag. So I decided to take her to Party City, on a shopping spree of 0.40c toys and candies she can fit in their little tiny baskets. She was super happy, and excited. She listened the whole time we were in the store! Oh and when I said, “not that one” or “that one is too expensive”, she calmly responded, “Okay mom”. That experience meant to me more than the fact that I was spoiling her. That she had to have a loot bag, even though she didn’t go to a birthday party. But she got her siblings something too, which I thought was sweet! So these moments, call for no appointments in my calendar. I usually just go whenever I feel like my kids deserve a small joys. It could be a trip to the dollarstore, for one item each. The smiles in those moments, make my heart flutter and it’s the best weakness I have for my kids.
  5. I Always Know Where it is
    I’m pretty sure all moms have this in common, we are always the ones who are supposed to keep track of everything, for everyone. It can get pretty challenging and annoying having to be the go-to person for everything.

    “I don’t actually always know where it is, but I think I’ve seen it”, is my motto.

    I have a photographic memory of everything in my house. I can recall where an item is, by memory even though I don’t need to know. Ok, I don’t spend all day trying to memorize things, I just sort of store it in my head and when someone is looking for something, I can direct them easily to it. It’s a gift, it’s a curse, whichever, I always know where it is!

 

We all have things we’re really good at that helps everyone in our little family to get the ball going, we all #RockMotherhood!

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I’d like to nominate these awesome mommies who also happen to be my other favourite bloggers, so they can too share how they’re #RockingMotherhood:

Tiffany (Shortsweetmom), Kristin (PrettyLoved), Ant (Ourcookery), and Dedreanna (Adventures at Home).

 

MM, out!

no streams

Here’s my open letter to you.

“An understanding mind, may categorize the reasons you had to give me up. An understanding mind, may have been able to give you peace about the decisions you’ve made. 

Time, and time again, I wonder.

I wonder, why? I wonder, how?

I’m now a mother of two, and a third one, on the way. I wonder, if I ever felt the poverty, the unfairness of life, the unluckiness, the inabilities; even half of what you felt, would I have done the same..oh wait… I know how it feels to struggle. To live, paycheque, to paycheque with a child. How worrying it is to not know where, or how the rent was going to be paid, or any of the bills, for that matter. I know how it feels to buy just enough for what we need because..LIFE!

Would I have given up as easily, as you did? Would I have not tried? Would I have been able to look at my child for the last time, and spend the rest of my life, however, wherever, not being able to look at my kids again?

I wonder, would I have the strength to give them up? Could I have done it?

It isn’t a matter of strong hearts, strong minds, or greediness. 

I could’t. I wouldn’t. I am greedy for it. But I would have died trying to survive, to GIVE MY CHILD a future, MYSELF. I would have died, with them in my arms. 

Maybe I’m stubborn. Maybe I’m irrational. Maybe I’m illogical. 

How could you? Why didn’t you become better, and came back for me? Why wasn’t I enough? What you thought was best for me, also left me in the long run. Are you still proud of your decision? 

The root of the anger, the root of the sadness, the root of my shortcomings, the root of things that I never came to know, and learn, is because you left. I can’t seem to shake off the feeling, the resentment..it eats at me, when the moment presents itself. When those moments arrive, I lose grip of what I’ve worked so hard to mend. All the pieces I’ve managed to glue back together, shattered again.

Now that I’m older, it haunts me more often. It breaks me, more often. It kills me, more often. While I use the happiness, of the blessings that have come from it, I still find myself lost, unable to let go.

You left me, when I couldn’t yet cry out to you. You left me when I couldn’t yet say to you, I’m worth it, just give me a chance. You left me when I couldn’t yet, tell you I can eventually help us. You just gave up.

You just left. And now I’m to just accept it?“

 

xo, MM

 

Repost from Tumblr – December 17, 2015

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