Picky Eaters. Every mom’s worst nightmare.
Apollo has always been a picky eater, since he started eating solids. He wasn’t one for the baby puree’d foods. He hated them, didn’t care for them, and spent most of his toddler years drinking bottles, and bottles of milk. His meals consisted of +plain white rice w. butter +plain pasta w. butter (eventually moving on to plain pastas w. white cheese) +plain white rice w. corned beef +nuggets & fries +mac and cheese.
These are the same types of foods he lives by these days.
I’ve spent the last two and a half hours conflicted, and feeling guilty for the grief we both felt about his confessions during tonight’s dinner. Dinner was cheese pizza for him (ordered-in). He’s recently been participating in ‘Pizza Day’ at school, in happiness, although it’s just cheese pizza, it’s once a month I don’t have to worry about his lunch. One day in the month, I can sleep an extra five minutes, once a month, I don’t have to scratch my head, trying to figure out what to send him to school. After-all, it is just cheese pizza he asks for.
Tonight, he struggled to eat a tiny slice of cheese pizza. As if, he really doesn’t care for them. I wondered, why he struggled to eat this pizza, when he asks me every-time that form comes home, if I can spare him that four dollars for his lunch. Every time, I say ‘of course’. It’s become automatic after a few times, I’d sign that form, and ziplock four dollars with it.
Well.. That ‘struggle’ to finish a slice of cheese pizza, brought him to tell the truth about what really happens, to his half a bagel w. cream cheese he gets for lunch, and the many yummy snacks (one per recess), I make sure to have for him.
The truth is.. he throws them out, almost every day. I was furious. His dad was furious. I mean, that’s money wasted, time wasted, food wasted. Above all, he’s starving at the end of the day, and I’m thinking why. I send him with more food, than what a six year old can actually eat. But having more, just means options. Well for the last term, up till now.. he comes home with an empty lunch box except for whatever tupperware I’ve sent him with.
What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to react?
There were tears, there were upset feelings. He was sent to bed before seventhirty. Earlier today, I reminisced on old videos of him, when time only held its moments for him. An only child, with all of mom, and dad’s time.
I miss him being so small. I’m conflicted of my feelings to teach him ‘what’s right’, and how he’s growing so quickly, he’ll figure it all out for himself before I know it.
Parenting is so hard!
A Very Sad Mom.